“Do you remember the night Mom died?” she asked.
“Of course. I’ll never forget.”
“You sat with me then, too, all night long.”
He smiled and brushed the hair from her forehead. “I needed you as much as you needed me.”
“You know what I appreciated most?”
He shook his head, giving her a sad smile.
“You didn’t lie to me. You didn’t tell me she was a star up in heaven. I asked you where she was, and you said you didn’t know.”
“I never lied to you. I wasn’t going to start on the night your mother died.”
“I think I saw her a couple of times in the last few days.”
Cain grew quiet. After a while, he asked, “What was she like?”
“The same as when she died. I don’t think she ever got over the reason for ending her life.”
“I’m not even sure why she did it.” Speaking more to himself than to her, he mused, “Was it her career or me?”
“It wasn’t you.”
“When she was younger and success came easily, she was very different.”
She turned on her side to have a better view of him. “What was the hardest part of her death for you?”
He stared at his hands for a moment before saying, “Missing her. Not being enough.”
“Not enough to make her happy?”
“Not enough to give her a reason for living.”
“Do you still miss her?”
“Every day of my life.”
She pursed her lips in an effort to still their trembling. Finally, having a measure of control again, she said, “I already miss him so much.”
Cain took her hand between both of his. “It’s all right to still love him, even when you meet someone else, one day. The heart is limitless and the capacity for love endless.”
It was more or less what Henry had said. Ivan loved her. He couldn’t admit it because he was protecting himself as much as she was, but he loved her, and his spirit always would.
“I needed his crazy like he needed my normal.” She smiled at the memory, wiping away more tears.
“You had a great love.”
She looked at Cain for some time. “Why did you chase him away? He told me what you said to him that night.”
“I knew what he was. My organization had found most of the gifted people by then. He’d always been a troubled boy. His soul was already dark. There was a good chance I’d be the one to eliminate him one day, and I didn’t want you to go through that pain.”
“I would’ve gladly taken one more day with him, no matter the heartache.”
He hung his head. “I love you. Everything I do, I do to make the world a better place for you. Ivan … I thought he was an infatuation, an obsession, and that you’d forget about him. If I had known…”
“I know.”
“I left after your mother’s funeral because you wanted me to but also to keep you safe. I’ve tried so hard to keep your identity a secret, and I knew as long as Ivan was in the picture, you’d never be safe. I didn’t want you to become a part of this life.”
“It seems fate had its own plans.”
“You know I don’t believe in fate.”
“Ivan came back to find me because Nicolas told him to, but the plan was all along for Ivan to find you. If he hadn’t, Godfrey would’ve either used him or killed him to steal his art. It looks like it has always been my fate to be with Ivan, and when you drove him away, fate found a way to bring us back together.”
“I’ll never forgive myself for taking the man you loved away from you.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Twice.”
Compassion filled her heart. “I do. I forgive you. You did what you believed was right. You always have. Life is too short to harbor grudges for actions committed with good intentions.”
His expression twisted. “I don’t deserve a daughter like you.”
“Don’t say that,” she said through her tears. “You’re a good father. Asia said something very true. Most of your team members had shitty fathers, but you’re not one of them. You’re not the monster I faced, tonight. It makes me want to weep for Lily.”
Cain kissed her hand before arranging it carefully on the bed and pulling the comforter up to her waist. “Do you want to talk about what happened with Godfrey?”
“There’s not much to say.” She didn’t want to linger on the event. “I don’t know why, but I could see Boris. He tricked me. I thought he was our new décor manager, and he let me believe it. After the show…” She swallowed. “After I’d made a fool of myself, I wanted to be alone. Boris led me to a backroom he’d decorated with props. It was a trap. Shortly after, Godfrey arrived and locked me in.”
Cain clenched his jaw. “Did he hurt you?”