“No. But I have wondered if it means you haven’t let go of Richard yet.”
“Richard?” she cried in exasperation. “He has nothing to do with it!” she declared with every fiber of her being. “Our marriage was over on the honeymoon. But I’d made vows and was determined to keep them. I thought, if I could have a child, then I could pour out my love on it.
“As I explained before, Richard happened to be away both times I lost my babies. But what I didn’t tell you was that I found out he’d made several women pregnant while he was in California. That’s why he moved around, so he wouldn’t have to take responsibility.”
She felt him reach for her hand and cling to it.
“Ben—when you told me Richard had only worked down here for four months, I realized Juanita’s baby couldn’t be his. That meant the birth father had abandoned her, just the way Richard had abandoned me and those two other women.”
Tears sprang to her eyes unbidden. “Captain Ortiz finally told me her story. She ran away from an abusive home, was abused by the man who got her pregnant. Though she knew that Richard was seeing other women, that he partied with them, she stayed with him because at least he didn’t slap her around.
“It made me so sick for all the women who love bad men and don’t have the tools to get out.” She half sobbed the words.
“After you told me Richard had drowned, I thought ‘oh no,’ she’s been abandoned again. The cycle’s never going to stop. She’ll go on being abused for the rest of her life. The same thing will probably happen to her child.
“You should see her, Ben. She’s young and beautiful, but she’ll go to her death never knowing the good life.
“It made me so angry, I can’t tell you. Captain Ortiz made me angry at first. He said, ‘Don’t give her money. She’ll be back for more.’
“The point is, she didn’t ask me for anything. I had to throw it at her. She almost didn’t take it from Parker. I kept thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. My parents raised me in a loving home. I never knew emotional abuse until I lived with Richard. Fortunately I had an education, a job, backing.
“Juanita has none of that. Captain Ortiz must have sensed her plight because he finally softened enough to tell me she’d been trying to get in touch with me for help. He didn’t have to tell me that. He could have left it alone, and I’d have been none the wiser. But his conscience won out.
“So here we are. Stuck on your dream ship with my problem. One you didn’t ask for, and didn’t need. You were better off when you didn’t have a wife. I had no right to tell you what improvements I thought should be made.
“I’m sorry, Ben. So sorry.”
Pulling her hand away, she jumped out of bed and started running.
“Terri? For the love of heaven, come back here.”
Afraid he might follow her into her bedroom, she dashed into her bathroom and locked the door.
Sure enough, she saw the handle turn. “Terri, we have to talk. Open the door.”
“Please go away. I promise that as soon as Juanita can get on an airplane, I’ll leave with her and you’ll never have to deal with a liability like me again.”
“That’s your PMS talking. Go ahead and have a good cry. By the time you come back to bed I’ll have the room at a toasty seventy degrees. How does that sound?”
“Ben—tomorrow’s the biggest day of your life. You need your sleep.”
“I need something else a lot more. Be my wonderful wife and come and give me a leg massage. It worked like magic before. I could use a little of that tonight. Even a business titan like me is a bit shaky right now thinking about what’s going to happen in the morning.”
She sniffed. “You’re really nervous?”
“What if after all this, it doesn’t sail?”
“That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“That’s why I need you. To tell me everything’s going to be all right.”
Her husband was such a tower of strength to the people around him, it never occurred to anyone he had normal human fears. But Terri had seen his human side the first time she’d looked into those unforgettable gray eyes filled with pain and pleading.
Without conscious thought she reached for her lotion and unlocked the door. Her heart sank because he was no longer there.
No doubt he’d gone back to bed. He probably assumed she’d stay in the bathroom until she thought it was safe to come out. But that would be immature and selfish of her.
“Why don’t you turn on your stomach and I’ll do the backs of your legs first,” she said after she’d ventured into his room once more.