Hell, Clint mentioned Brandon being on the ranch almost immediately when he began to talk about the future.
I wondered a little why I wasn't jealous of their bond, but I supposed that it was no different to a boyfriend having a close family member.
Brandon wasn't a threat to my relationship with Clint, he was just another part of my man's life.
Like the ranch, I supposed.
I could easily get jealous of the time he spent working on the ranch, the long hours, the constant worry and attention... but he was clearly making me a priority too, and I understood valuing your job.
I also understood that the ranch was more than a job to Clint. It was his life. I may not have known him for more than for months, but I was already pretty sure that losing this place would kill him. He might walk and talk, but that spark inside him would be gone.
After all, it had been in his family for generations.
It all came back to family for Clint. Family and the ranch were what he talked about more than anything else, and a few tender moments had showed me that he was aching for a little family of his own to fill up the house.
Did I want to make that for him?
Lost in my own thoughts, it took me a few minutes to realize that the only sounds were once again the sheep. It appeared that I was alone in the barn, but I sat there in the dust and hay for a while, staring into space, before I went to find Clint.
I was unsettled for days after I heard Will and Brandon fight.
Finally, on the next Tuesday afternoon, I decided I had to talk to someone. Walking out of the office to my car, I fished my phone out of my bag and called Sarah.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m bored.”
“Good, I need to talk. Can I come over?” I asked.
She agreed, and I was walking up the sidewalk to her little house in fifteen minutes.
I knocked and she let me in.
"I need to hug this baby," I said, after giving my friend a gentle hug in greeting.
She rolled her eyes. "Says you and everybody. Babies are like crack. Go ahead, take her, she's awake."
Sarah pointed at the booster seat covered with yellow stars that was perched on the floor by the couch.
I went over and unbuckled the little girl, pulling her out of the seat and into my arms. Her head smelled like baby, which was so weirdly appealing that I leaned close and just breathed her in.
"You're so right, " I said. "I'm sniffing her like a crack addict. This is ridiculous."
"Told you so," she said.
"I think I want one," I
said. "I'm going crazy about this guy, I want to have his baby."
She laughed and clapped her hands. "Come on, bring her into the dining room. We'll have a snack, I'm starving. You have to tell me everything. You've been holding out for months, spill!"
I spilled.
While she ate grapes, I told her everything, from how Clint and I met to his surly moods and his kindness. I told her about his dead parents and his relationship with Brandon, and Brandon's with Will.
Somewhere in my story, Katie started to fuss in my arms and I passed her to her mother, who pulled her cowl neck shirt aside to nurse her, with surprising modesty.
By the time I got to his "house full of kids" desires and my fears that he wanted me to be more domestic than my nature would allow, an hour had passed.
"We started having sex, and it's amazing, but I am afraid that I'm not the woman he wants to marry. I only sometimes want one kid, a houseful sounds like a nightmare," I finished.