“The very notion is daft.”
She couldn’t help a faint smile. “My brother agrees with you wholeheartedly—but it isn’t daft to yearn for love,” she declared stubbornly.
Perhaps she was a bit mad for hoping for Hawk’s love. This was a man who didn’t share his heart easily. She would have to prove herself his match, of course—if he ever gave her the chance. She wanted to be worthy of him, an enormous feat given his past heroism. It distressed Skye that she could very well fail. Her aunt had been clear; the Guardians were his chosen calling and he wouldn’t give them up readily. But she refused to consider the possibility of failure just now.
“I am not willing to give up,” Skye added more softly. “I told you before, Hawk, I believe in making my own destiny. I can’t bear being helpless against the whims of fate. And I think you want to make your own fate as well. Isn’t that what you did by joining the Guardians? You became bent on saving lives because you were unable to save your family?”
She had struck a nerve, she could tell, for Hawk’s gaze narrowed on her. Yet he must have seen some merit in her assertion, for he didn’t deny it.
“That does not excuse your duplicity,” he finally said.
“Perhaps not.” She disliked keeping secrets from him. She didn’t need her Aunt Bella’s counsel to know that love could never flourish in secrecy, or that dishonesty was like poison. For that reason alone she was glad this matter had come to a head. But her secrecy was not unwarranted.
“You have your own secrets about the Guardians of the Sword,” she pointed out. “In all fairness, how can you expect me to share mine when you refuse to share yours?”
Hawk looked irked by her argument. “Keeping confidences is vastly different from dishonesty and deception. I took an oath to protect the league’s anonymity. There are things I can’t tell anyone, certainly not a strange young lady I met barely a fortnight ago. Secrecy is not just a whim of mine. Lives are at stake.”
Feeling rueful, Skye nodded her head. She fully agreed that Hawk’s career not only needed to remain clandestine, it was of vital importance. Indeed, she thought it awe inspiring that he’d devoted his life to righting wrongs and had risked his life many times over.
His powerful form was now covered by his cambric nightshirt, but she remembered his ravaged flesh very well.
“I have seen your body, Hawk. I know your burns came from the castle fire, but those other scars are not burns. One looks to be a bullet wound; another a cut from a knife or sword blade.”
“A scimitar,” Hawk said curtly.
He was watching her through his long lashes now. His eyes were heavily guarded, his emotions like shadows, but he was considering her confession, she could tell.
His contemplation gave her hope, and made her recall the other urgent reason she had chosen to storm his castle.
“I might have tried to meet you in the normal way by seeking a proper introduction from my aunt, but you never go into society. And time was a huge factor. You were supposed to begin courting Sir Gawain Olwen’s niece soon.”
“I still am.”
Unless she convinced him otherwise.
She needed to delay his courtship long enough for him to fall in love with her, Skye reflected. If so, she had to begin planting the seeds in his mind that he shouldn’t wed Miss Olwen. After all his valiant endeavors, Hawk would be miserable with a quiet, retiring girl like Sir Gawain Olwen’s niece. She, on the other hand, could be his perfect match, if only she could make him see it.
“Do you truly want to wed Miss Olwen? From all reports, she is your complete opposite. You would not be happy married to her, I think.”
“My happiness is beside the point.”
“It shouldn’t be. You have already made numerous sacrifices for your country. You shouldn’t have to make a marriage of convenience out of duty to your mentor.”
Hawk dismissed her argument abruptly. “If you know of my obligations to Sir Gawain, then you know why I must choose his great-niece for my bride.”
“No, actually I don’t know why.”
“She is a direct descendant of the league’s original founders. For me to become the new leader, I must have a blood connection to the founders, a requirement of our charter. Sir Gawain is growing too old to continue as head and wishes me to succeed him.”
Skye’s heart sank. “Oh.” She’d thought Hawk had chosen Miss Olwen merely to please Sir Gawain. “Does that mean … you could never marry me?”
“Only if I want to abandon becoming Sir Gawain’s successor.”
“But … you insisted you would wed me if I am with child.”
Another shadow crossed his features. “A child would change my calculations entirely.”
Indeed it wo