The reminder led her to question her own motives—and a dozen thoughts crowded into her mind as a result: How selfish of her even to try to persuade him. Hawk was a hero, a man of action. He had dedicated the previous ten years of his life to righting wrongs and saving lives. He did what was right, despite his own self-interest. Could she do any less?
He was making the sacrifice to serve his country. Could she make the same sacrifice? Love meant sacrificing sometimes. And she wanted to prove worthy of his love.
The noble thing would be to let him go. If she loved him, she had to let him go.
With extreme reluctance, Skye nodded at her aunt’s unwelcome counsel. Feeling a hollow, aching need rise up within her, she wondered if she’d made a grave mistake from the very beginning. Why had she let herself fall in love with Hawk? If she had known it would hurt this much, would she still have pursued him?
But yes. Following her heart was in her very blood. Her family loved with a bone-deep fierceness, and she was no exception.
Skye blinked away the sudden sting of tears. She would have to be stoic when she faced Hawk, just as she would have to control any display of painful emotions. She often wore her heart on her sleeve, but she certainly couldn’t tell him of her love, for that would only add to his burden of guilt.
No doubt her aunt was right. She had done all she could. The rest was up to Hawk.
A quarter hour later, when she found Hawk in the corridor outside his study, he halted upon seeing her.
“May I have a moment of your time?” Skye asked quietly.
His gray eyes were wary, before his dark lashes lowered to hide any hint of emotion.
“You needn’t worry,” she hastened to add. “I haven’t come to repeat my entreaties. I only want to bid you farewell.”
“Indeed?” he said politely, distantly.
Skye felt her stomach sink further with dread. Hawk’s expression was impassive, as detached as ever, as it had been in the early days of their relationship.
He ushered her inside the study and went to stand by the window, his profile stark and stunning in the gray afternoon light. It frightened her to think that her greatest fear was coming to pass, but she forced herself to launch into her short, prepared speech.
“I won’t implore you to reconsider, Hawk. Of course I don’t want you to wed Miss Olwen, but I understand why you must put your league first. Your duty is more important than any personal contentment. You must do what you must.”
“Yes, I must.”
His concise response brought the ache back to her chest. She desperately wanted this man to love her, but her hope was futile. Hawk would never open his heart to her. He wouldn’t permit himself. There was no answering fire in his eyes, no feeling at all.
Skye willed herself not to show her despair. “I agree, you should lead the Guardians. You save lives, Hawk. You shouldn’t be compelled to give that up.”
Even though it means I must give you up.
She felt the ache cut through her heart. Her chest tight, her eyes burning, she offered him a tremulous smile and moved to stand directly before him.
She hesitated a moment memorizing his beloved face, the proud curves of cheekbones and chin and forehead, before saying simply, “If this is farewell … I want you to remember me.”
“I could never forget you, sweeting.”
He lifted his hand, touching his fingertips along the rise of her cheek. “Your name should be Sunshine.…”
His tenderness was like a nail to her heart.
Forcibly she swallowed a sob. “Before I go … will you allow me one last kiss? That is all I ask.”
Resistance was etched in the chiseled planes of his face, but Hawk complied and lowered his head so their mouths could meet.
His lips were warm but not welcoming. Determinedly, Skye slid her arms around his neck to pull him closer, and for a fleeting instant, their kiss turned hard, with a hint of the glorious passion they had always shared. She tried to press herself deeper into the hard, muscular shelter of his body … but almost as suddenly, Hawk broke off their embrace.
His hands on her shoulders, he deliberately set her away.
As he drew back, Skye glimpsed something in his eyes … the hot need burning just below the surface. But then his heavy black lashes veiled his gaze.
The implacable lines of his face were like a knife twisting in her heart.