His gaze cool, Niall propped a shoulder against the doorjamb, looking prepared to stay forever. “You have some objection to remaining as my wife?”
Sabrina hunched her shoulders protectively. Yes, she wanted to cry. She never wanted to be so deeply hurt again as she’d been these past weeks. She couldn’t bear to live with Niall as his wife. She couldn’t bear to watch his infidelities day after day. Her heart would shrivel a little more each time, till it crumbled to dust. No, she could only pretend indifference and hide the savage pain as she shielded them both from this mockery of a marriage.
Her chin rose. “I should think you would be pleased to be rid of me. Surely you can pursue your amorous affairs more freely without a wife’s presence to inconvenience you.”
“I have no desire to pursue any affairs, amorous or otherwise.”
“I expect your mistress might have something to say on that score.”
Niall’s mouth tightened with impatience. “Eve is not my mistress, Sabrina, and has not been for a long while.”
“What is she then?” Her sarcasm was cutting. “What do you call your frolic with her in the orchard—an afternoon tea?”
&
nbsp; His gaze never wavered. “A momentary act of lunacy. One I profoundly regret.” His intense eyes held hers. “I swear to you, it never went beyond a few caresses. I admit I intended to. I thought Eve could make me forget you…my obsession with you. But being with her had precisely the opposite effect. It made me realize what a treasure I had in you. How much I wanted you and only you.”
Sabrina stared at him, unable to speak.
“’Tis true.” Niall smiled humorlessly. “The entire time I was thinking of you…wishing you were the one in my arms. I felt no real desire for her.”
“Indeed?” Sabrina retorted, finding her tongue. “You looked as if you were enjoying yourself mightily.”
He shrugged. “Carnal pleasure is but an indulgence of the flesh. It means little if one feels nothing for one’s partner.” His voice softened. “You taught me that.”
“I…don’t believe you.”
“Believe it, Sabrina. Eve means nothing to me. She is merely a memory, one in my past.”
“And you think that should make any difference to me? How could I ever trust you again after what I witnessed, Niall? Even if you stopped short of rutting with her, it was still a flagrant betrayal. You couldn’t possibly understand how much it hurt me.”
“I’m sorry, Sabrina. More than I can ever say.”
Sabrina shook her head. She couldn’t accept Niall’s professions of regret. The wound was too raw.
Nor could she yet comprehend why he had pursued her here. Unless perhaps his stalwart Highland pride had been affronted because his wife chose to live apart from him. Or he feared losing the dowry his heiress bride had brought him….
Her eyes stark with unhappiness, Sabrina stiffened her spine. “You can keep my dowry. My stepfather’s holdings are immense enough that he won’t miss it.”
Niall’s gaze narrowed. “The dowry be damned. I never wedded you for your wealth.”
“Oh, yes, I recall now, it was a debt of honor. Well, I absolve you of any obligation to me.”
“Confound it…I don’t want to be absolved.”
“You cannot possibly wish to remain tied to me.”
“Aye, I can.”
“But why?”
“Mayhap because I love you.”
Sabrina’s eyes widened in shock, while Niall went still.
He lowered his own gaze, his features shuttered, enigmatic, as he comprehended the strange words that had issued from his mouth. Yet his admission of love had come so naturally, so instinctively, he knew it for the truth.
Sweet saints, when had it happened? He loved Sabrina. The realization was frightening, exhilarating, unreal. His heart had been captured by her spirit.