Moonwitch

The heaviness, however, became a sudden hollowness in the pit of her stomach as a different thought struck her. Danielle was free to marry again—or would be, after a proper period of mourning. If Kyle had been similarly free, he would have been able to claim his son through marriage.

That realization must have occurred to Kyle, Selena reflected.

Miserably she searched his face, but she saw nothing in his expression to suggest that he wasn’t bitterly regretting his marriage to her.

“Kyle…I’m sorry. If you hadn’t married me, you would be free to make Clay your son, as you once planned.”

He shrugged heavily. When he finally met her gaze, there was a bleakness in his eyes that tore at her heart. “Well, I’m not free. So don’t even think of it.”

The quiet words did nothing to quell the ache or dispel the cold knot that had formed in her stomach.

The service for Jeremiah Whitfield was held in an old Spanish parish house, since Natchez didn’t yet boast any Protestant churches. His body was laid to rest in the town’s burying ground. There were numerous damp eyes and grieving faces among the attending crowd, for Jeremiah had been well liked and pitied for the terrible tragedy that had befallen him. And the sight of his beautiful widow garbed in black with the small, bewildered boy clinging to her hand was enough to wring tears from granite.

Selena watched Danielle and Clay as the final prayers were said, unable to tear her eyes away, her heart aching for them and for herself, as well. But her attention was focused on Kyle. She was conscious of the tension emanating from him as he stood beside her, as if he were forcing himself to remain dispassionate and detached. His eyes remained on his son.

Just then, as Danielle scooped up a handful of earth and sprinkled it over the coffin, Clay whimpered and broke away from his mother with a cry of “Papa!” He ran through the crowd, short legs churning, and with a sob launched his small body at Orrin’s knees.

Without hesitation Orrin bent and caught the weeping boy up in his arms, holding him close and murmuring soft reassurances as Clay hid his face from the crowd.

Like the other mourners, Selena had been watching the child, but then she glanced up at Kyle and caught the naked pain on his face. Her heart twisted for his agony, but she knew there was nothing she could do. Kyle had to accept for himself that he was losing his son to another man.

The service over, Kyle drove Selena home in the gig. His grim mood had, if anything, intensified, and he spoke not at all for the first part of the journey. Selena didn’t press him, for she could sense his simmering anger waiting to boil. Yet the presence of such powerful emotions dismayed her. Danielle was so heartachingly beautiful, it wasn’t beyond possibility that Kyle had fallen in love with her, despite his denial. At the very least, his feelings for Danielle were augmented by his despair over his son.

The thought only intensified the hollow, sick feeling in the pit of Selena’s stomach.

It wasn’t helped, either, by Kyle’s abrupt announcement when they were halfway to Montrose.

“I intend to return to town this afternoon,” he said in a low, fierce tone. “I want to comfort Clay. A boy needs his father.”

When Selena didn’t answer immediately, Kyle shot her a dark look. “If you mean to suggest that I’ll be promoting a scandal, you can save your breath. I’m not going to let that stand between me and my son.”

As if the thought further roused his fury, Kyle slapped the reins against the bay horse, startling the animal into a dancing gait. “God, I’m sick to death of the sanctimonious gabblemongers in this town, always thinking they have the right to throw the first stone.”

“I wasn’t thinking of the scandal,” Selena replied, her throat tight. “I was considering Danielle’s feelings. This is not the time to be fighting with her over her son.”

“Fiend seize it, he’s my son, too! My only son.”

Selena stiffened. Given a chance, she, too, could provide Kyle with sons. “You seem to have forgotten,” she retorted, heat rising to her cheeks, “that you have a wife now who can give you children.”

“I don’t want other children! I want Clay.”

The angry words were like a blow. And they brought sudden tears to Selena’s eyes. Clenching her teeth to hold them back, she averted her face and stared blindly at the passing scenery.

When Kyle glanced at her a moment later, he swore softly, as if he had just realized what he’d said. “God, I didn’t mean that,” he ground out. When she didn’t reply, he hastily drew the bay to a halt and turned to her, grasping her arm. “Look, Selena, it was a stupid, childish thing to say. I lost my temper. This situation with Clay is driving me insane, but that’

s no excuse to lash out at you.”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said quietly, choking back her tears.

“Yes, it does matter, of course it matters.”

“Very well. I accept your apology.”

“Selena…” He hesitated, placing a finger under her chin to make her meet his gaze. “Look, I know this isn’t fair to you, and I don’t mean to put you through this. I just don’t know how to deal with losing Clay.”

Selena nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“I have to return to town. I need to discuss the future with Danielle, to decide what we’ll do about Clay.”