“It is a long story…”
“I’m listening,” he said gruffly.
She told him then about Sean once being her suitor and his accosting her in the Gardens. About his subsequent impressment and his desire for revenge. About his hired thugs violently seizing her when she was on her way to the church to be married.
“Sean rendered me unconscious and drugged me and kept me tied to a bed. I have no doubt he meant to torture me and worse, but Kell Lasseter intervened. He saved me from ravishment, I’m certain. But until that day Kell was a perfect stranger to me.”
“A stranger?”
“Yes. I never saw him before the day of my abduction. He was only protecting me from scandal by wedding me.”
“So you didn’t love him?” Halford asked slowly, his first sign of uncertainty.
“No, not at all.”
“Then why the devil did you lie about making a love match?”
“Because I feared you would call him out otherwise.”
The duke shook his head. “I am still not certain I comprehend. You made me look the fool rather than admit the truth?”
“Would the truth have served any better purpose? Your being jilted for love was humiliating, certainly, but having your betrothed abducted would have been nearly as shameful-and much more dangerous. If you had felt compelled to duel to defend my honor, you might have killed or been killed yourself. I didn’t want that to happen.”
Halford remained silent, giving no indication if he believed her.
“By claiming a love match,” Raven continued, “I stood a chance of salvaging some shred of my reputation. I promise you, Charles, I had no desire to wed anyone but you, but Kell Lasseter was my only option if I hoped to diminish the scandal. As a married woman, I could possibly survive, but without a husband…I was almost certain you would have refused to wed me after my abduction. Yet there was another possibility: You might have felt obliged to honor our betrothal. I could not have let you make that sacrifice. Your duchess should be above reproach, and I was damaged goods.”
He turned his head away, not answering.
“Truly,” Raven pleaded, “I thought it was for the best. It was too late for me. My future was already ruined, and I didn’t want to ruin yours as well.”
“My future was indeed ruined that day, my dear,” he said quietly. “I lost you.”
Raven felt an ache squeeze her throat. “Charles, your heart was never engaged. You never loved me.”
“Ah, but you are wrong. I cared for you a great deal.” He turned back to her. “I wish you could have trusted me.”
She heard the sorrow in his voice, recognized the genuine pain. Her eyes burned with sudden tears. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Charles. I would not have done it for the world.”
Removing his glove, he reached forward and touched her wet cheek. “I think you honestly mean it.”
“Of course I do,” she said, her voice unsteady.
Halford sank back in his seat, observing her in the dim light. “So now you are wed to a notorious gamester.”
“I am making do.” She wiped absently at her tears. “But I owe Lasseter a huge debt of gratitude. He doesn’t deserve your anger, Charles. He only rescued me from becoming a pariah in society. If you must be angry, then please, be angry with me.”
The duke sighed. “I can’t be angry with you, my dear. You were not to blame for what befell you. But I wish you had come to me for help.”
“I’m sorry, Charles, but I didn’t think I had any choice. Can you not understand that?”
“I suppose I can. Very well, then…I should take you home.”
“Charles…” She hesitated, wondering if she could risk asking him for a favor. “I would rather you accompany me elsewhere.”
“Where?”
“To the Golden Fleece.” Raven hastened to explain. “As I said, I owe Lasseter a great deal, but he is suffering because of me. Your accusations have nearly ruined him, Charles. If you would only make a brief appearance at his club, perhaps spend a little time at his gaming tables, it would go a long way to refute the rumors you’ve been circulating about his dishonesty. Please, for my sake, won’t you at least consider helping him?”