He fell silent, remembering Raven’s remark about not wanting children-her concern about conceiving a child without a father who would love and care for him. Was her reluctance because of her own experience?
Kell frowned. He wasn’t all that certain he wanted children himself. There was enough bad blood in the Lasseter line to fear passing it on to his offspring. His uncle for one, and his brother Sean…
He recollected himself as Dare spoke again.
“Despite your lack of a title, you could be precisely what Raven needs.”
“You’re not concerned I might do her harm?”
“Not in the least. I’ve seen how you look at her.”
“Like every other besotted sap who sets eyes on her, you mean.” Kell’s mouth twisted. He couldn’t deny that his worst fear had come to pass: He’d been bewitched by the bride he’d planned to ignore. “I suppose you have a reason for confiding Raven’s secrets,” he said finally.
“I do,” Dare admitted. “I consider you a highly intelligent man. If you understand what drives her, you will know better how to deal with her. Raven is passionate in everything she does. If she came to care for you when you couldn’t reciprocate…I would not like to see her heart broken.”
“Raven is the one known for breaking hearts,” Kell retorted dryly. “I expect I’m in far greater danger than she is.”
“Even so…if you don’t think you can care for her, then it would be best if you simply kept away from her.”
It was Kell’s turn to hesitate. “I’ve been invited by her grandfather to spend the holidays with Raven at his estate.”
Dare raised an eyebrow. “Luttrell must have elected to accept your marriage, then. Do you intend to go?”
“I have yet to decide.” Surprisingly, Sean had written of his desire to remain in Ireland over Christmas, and Kell was uncertain about whether to join him or to allow his brother the distance he seemed to crave.
“You are more than welcome to come with me to the Wolverton family seat for the holidays,” Dare said. “Frankly, I would enjoy the company, for this visit will be purely obligatory. I’ve been there only once since I inherited from my grandfather, because it holds so many unpleasant memories of the old bastard. You would be doing me a favor.”
“Thank you. I’ll keep your offer in mind.”
Gazing out at the dark streets, Kell sank into contemplation. He had unpleasant memories as well, both of his bastard of an uncle and of Christmas. It was during the Christmas holidays that he’d come home to discover the terrible truth about his poor brother. And then they’d fled to Ireland and to the misery of living on the streets-certainly the worst time of his life.
He didn’t want to endure Christmas alone. Whether or not he should risk spending it with Raven, however, was an entirely different matter. Raven left him so dangerously vulnerable.
She’d shown little enthusiasm about his accompanying her to her grandfather’s. And then there were his brother’s feelings to consider. Sean would be furious if he returned to find his prediction had come to pass-that Kell had fallen for the very woman Sean blamed for causing his misery.
Mentally Kell shook his head. He couldn’t continue letting his brother rule every aspect of his life, especially one so personal as his marriage. And despite the danger, he wanted to go.
The temptation of being close to Raven for even a short while was relentless, overpowering. He was like a possessed sailor being lured by a siren’s call toward the lethal rocks. He couldn’t turn away.
Kell pressed his lips together in a grim line. It was no doubt madness, but he intended to accompany his wife to the country for the Christmas holidays. And God help him if he couldn’t prevent his desire for her from swelling out of control.
Chapter Seventeen
If Raven hoped to avoid intimacy with Kell during the Christmas holidays, she realized her mistake the moment she set foot in his traveling coach.
Her grandfather’s estate in East Sussex was only some forty miles south of London, but spending a good part of the day alone with Kell gave her more opportunity for private conversation than in all the weeks of their marriage. Regrettably O’Malley wasn’t on hand to keep the discussions impersonal, for he rode in a second carriage with the other servants-her maid and Kell’s valet.
The frigid weather didn’t help her keep her distance, either, for the coach windows had to remain shut against the light snow that was falling
. Unaccustomed to such chill temperatures, Raven couldn’t refrain from shivering, despite the hot bricks at her feet and several woolen carriage robes.
“I never realized winter could be so cold,” she complained, watching her breath frost on the interior of the panes.
“The West Indies isn’t exactly renowned for its snow,” Kell replied, amused.
“No. Until I came to England, I never even saw snow.”
“It will likely get far worse than this. Come here,” he ordered, holding out his arm.