Grandma slapped my ass and whispered, “I beg to differ, champ. Who’s next?”
Max raised his hand.
Jason smacked him.
“Fire!” Milo shouted.
Grandma screamed.
The aunt with the thick glasses fainted.
And I grabbed Milo and pushed her into the bedroom, slamming the door behind us.
“We left Reid!” She opened the door again.
“Leave him, besides, he was only holding Grandma’s hand.”
“No man gets left behind!”
“There’s nothing we can do for him now!” I pushed against the door. “He’s already been taken . . .”
“No.” Milo shook her head. “I won’t believe it. I can’t believe it.”
“Milo.” I exhaled. “Reid’s gone.”
A loud knocking sounded at the door.
“I know you’re in there!” Mrs. Caro shouted. “Now stop screwing around and get out here to greet your guests or so help me God I’m breaking down this door and I don’t think any one of us is mentally stable enough for that encounter!”
“We’ll be right out!” I said in a hurry.
“We will?” Milo put her hands on her hips. “But I thought—”
“We have to get rid of them—all of them, and then it’s just you and me.” I tilted her chin. “Promise.”
Her smile made my knees go weak. “Me, you, and Chewbacca?”
Max’s voice sounded at the door. “I named my penis once too.”
“Why can’t you be the one getting punched?” I shouted back, vaguely remembering that he had in fact been punched numerous times.
“Maximus. That was the name, then I realized I was putting undue pressure on my nether parts to perform and it wasn’t emotionally fair to do that to my person.”
“Go away!” I groaned.
“Now it’s just Max Jr.” He sighed. “Or if you’re picky, Big M.”
“Max!” Milo banged on the door. “Go find Reid.”
“He’s right here.”
“Is he okay?”
“Reid, tell them you’re okay.”
A throat cleared, and then Reid said in a very quiet voice, “I’ve been—compromised.”
“See?” Max’s voice was muffled. “Totally fine.”
“Give us five minutes?” I asked nicely, hoping it would make a difference if I used my inside voice rather than yelling again.
Max laughed. “Amateur, it should at least take fifteen, and that’s being generous.”
I opened my mouth but Milo elbowed me. “’K, thanks, Max, ’bye.”
We waited in silence, then Milo sighed. “You’re still there, aren’t you, Max?”
We heard a shuffling of feet and then, “Yeah.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
COLTON
It took us a good five minutes to get presentable, and even then Milo still looked like she had taken a midnight swim. Her skin was flushed, and the little black dress she was wearing did nothing to hide her body from me.
A body I desperately wanted.
Part of me was thankful that Max had interrupted—a thought I would take to my grave lest he decide to move in with us and make a career out of keeping me from sex.
It was Milo’s first time.
In a pool? Not the most romantic move I could have made. Wincing, I took a slow sip of wine and watched her across the room. She was talking to her aunt, the same one who had accused us not a few minutes ago of having an orgy in the hall.
Milo waved in my direction. I waved back and just watched her. I watched her laugh, I watched her drink, I watched her drum her fingers against her cup.
I wanted those hands on me.
Not the damn cup.
“Frustrated sexually?” Max said next to me in a low voice.
“Tell me, do you ever quit, Max? Or is your goal in life for no one to have sex if you aren’t getting any?”
He snorted. “I get plenty.”
“Where’s Jenna?”
“With Jason. I told her to take care of him on account that he can’t see how many fingers I’m holding up and was asking me why the ants were on him still.”
“He’s hallucinating? That can’t be good.”
“I may have slipped him a mild sedative.” Max shrugged. “At any rate, they’re on the way to the hospital—finally. And they’ll most likely be making out by the end of the night—that is, if Jason can actually find her mouth. Jury’s still out.”
“Wow, Cupid, nice work.” I patted him on the back.
“Shhh,” Max whispered. “No sudden movements. Baby powder.”
“What?”
“Baby powder.” Max closed his eyes and inhaled. “Grandma’s near.”
“How do you even—”
“Aha!” Grandma shouted, appearing in front of us. “Max, where’s that brother of yours? I’ve been looking everywhere!”
“I think you tuckered him out.” Max’s smile was tight. “Either that or he went and ran in front of oncoming traffic in hope someone would run him over.”
“What’s that?” She cupped her ear.
“YOU KILLED HIM!” Max shouted.
Grandma grinned and tapped Max’s chest with her pink fingernail. “Are you saying you’re going to stand in for him?” Her eyebrows arched.