"Utterly." Julienne had won their wager, Dare reflected. She had brought him to his knees-and made him supremely glad to be there.
"Who will lead the League if you resign?"
"There are several qualified candidates. But to be truthful, I don't care much what happens to it now. It has served its purpose."
Damien shook his head in bemusement. "I never thought to see the day you would give up the League."
"But I no longer need it."
All this time he'd been trying to drown his pain in pleasures of the flesh. He'd relied on carnal gratification to distract him from the emptiness of his life, filling the long hours with sophisticated games and sexual depravity. He'd used and discarded lovers the way some men did boots.
But he'd come to a profound realization since meeting Julienne again: the true pleasure in lovemaking was in loving.
"I've learned a critical lesson these past few months," Dare said quietly, his tone charged with conviction. "Pleasure is hollow without love."
"I could have told you that," Damien replied, his eyes dancing. "But you would never have believed me. You had to discover it for yourself."
"We're vastly pleased for you," Lucian chimed in cheerfully. "When may we wish you happy?"
"I'm not certain. I haven't proposed yet. The moment isn't right."
"You are worried that she will turn you down?"
Dare couldn't lie. It was fear that had made him delay. He was mortally afraid that his legendary skills of persuasion would fail. That Julienne wouldn't accept his offer of marriage. That she couldn't forgive him for what he had allowed to happen to her. That she didn't love him, could never love him…
He had felt an intense intimacy between them those few days in Paris before Julienne had seemed to draw away from him, but he knew their closeness had been driven in large part by danger.
He swallowed thickly as the familiar dread knotted his stomach. His life would be unbearable without Julienne. Only she could make him feel whole. Only she could fill that void inside him, could assuage his aching need to be complete.
Julienne had touched the innermost corners of his soul. Without her, he would have to face the utter measure of his emptiness.
Lucian interrupted his dark thoughts. "Don't look so grim, my friend. I have devout confidence that you'll succeed in winning your lady."
Dare wished he could be as confident. For the past two weeks he had adopted a course of pursuit that ran counter to his primal instincts. Not only did he want to let Julienne enjoy the accolades she deserved without distracting from her fame, but he intended to dispense with their public mating dance altogether. To call a halt to his flagrant wooing. To end what Julienne had termed his juvenile antics.
He was through with games. He had to show her that he could be serious, that he could develop some worthwhile pursuits. He intended to court her in a way that she would see as meaningful and sincere and originating from his heart.
He could think of few ways that wouldn't be reminiscent of their infamous wager. Attending her theater performances or taking her to midnight suppers smacked too much of his recent tactics, and so would sending her expensive gifts.
Despite his raw impatience, he wanted to make this new courtship entirely different from the past few months.
And he was awaiting word from his agent in France regarding the purchase of the Folmont estates. He didn't want Julienne thinking he was trying to buy her love, although he would have stooped to even that if he'd thought it would help. But with the restoration of her birthright, she would be wealthy enough to choose her future, independent of any man, of any protector.
As for his offering marriage, he thought he would do better to recreate the romantic scene of their summer together. He intended to ask Julienne to a picnic, where he would repeat his proposal of seven years ago.
Meanwhile he had been focusing on his fledgling political career, where he could concern himself with his country's affairs and the welfare of others, so that he might actually do some good. He meant to prove to Julienne that he could change.
With that in mind, he had arranged for this dinner so that she could meet his cherished
friends-and to show her that even the most notorious libertines could reform when inspired by true love.
As if able read his mind, Lucian raised his glass again. "To our new league. We've created a far better one than what we had. A league of reformed rakes." He met Dare's gaze with a brotherly smile alive with mischief and affection. "Welcome."
Dare gladly drank to that toast, praying he could join the select membership Lucian spoke of. He had never been envious of his friends until now, but he wanted what Damien and Luce had: love, warmth, children, laughter.
But most of all he desperately wanted Julienne.
For the first time in his life, though, he had no certainty that he could attain it.