Desire (Notorious 3)

Brynn felt dark color flush her cheeks. She hadn’t expected that wild hunger in herself. Lucian had turned her into a wanton creature, little different from her passion-crazed suitors. He had a deplorable talent for drawing intense reactions from her, whether passion or fury. Her heart twisted with despair. Whatever had happened to her plan to remain totally unmoved and indifferent to him?

“Well, you are hardly better than those fools you profess to disdain,” she retorted, forcing coolness into her voice.

It was all she could do not to wince at the darkening expression on Lucian’s handsome features. Brynn averted her gaze from the scorching intensity of his eyes. He was regarding her with disdain, as if they hadn’t just made forbidden love with frantic, explosive need. A sudden ache welled up in her throat.

Just then she felt the landau rolling to a stop. They had arrived home, she realized, blinking back tears. Thank God they hadn’t a few minutes earlier.

Without waiting for a footman, Brynn reached for the door handle, intending to descend from the carriage on her own. But Lucian put a hand on her arm to detain her.

“I meant it, Brynn. I’ll send you to my family seat to rusticate in the country if I must.”

The burning ache in her throat intensified, but she locked her jaw, determined not to cry in front of him.

“Then do so,” she replied. “I would welcome the respite.”

She fled then, before her tears threatened to spill over.

Lucian found himself biting back an oath as he watched his wife run up the entrance steps and disappear inside his house. The hurt he’d seen in her eyes flayed him with guilt.

Against his better judgment, he found himself following her, all the while arguing with himself over the wisdom in prolonging their latest battle.

He received no reply when he rapped softly on her bedchamber door. When he opened it, his heart leapt in alarm. Brynn was on her knees, her face buried in a chair before the hearth, sobbing as if her heart were broken.

For a long moment, Lucian stood there, wondering if he had been the cause of such anguish. Finally he shut the door behind him and crossed to her.

When he reached down and touched Brynn’s shoulder, she gave a violent start and looked up, her tears arrested.

She wiped furiously at her cheeks, as if ashamed of being caught by him. “What do you want?” she asked hoarsely.

“Did I hurt you?”

She looked away. “No…” She took a shuddering breath. “Yes. That horrible name…”

“What name?”

“Witch. The village children used to call me that. Even my friends… I heard their whispers behind my back after James died.”

Feeling his defenses crumble, Lucian withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket and sank down beside her. “James?” he murmured gently as he wiped her face.

“My suitor. I killed him.” Her eyes welled with fresh tears and spilled over before she covered her face with her hands.

Lucian hesitated, recalling what Brynn had once told him. “I thought you said your suitor drowned at sea.”

“He did.”

“That isn’t an uncommon fate for a Cornishman, is it?”

“No. But he died because I came to c-care for him.”

When her voice broke in a sob, Lucian felt his heart melt. Brynn was agonizing about something she had absolutely no control over, yet she clearly believed she was to blame for causing a man’s death. She must have lived with her burden of guilt for a great while, he realized-

Lucian felt himself flinch as he recognized the parallel to his own situation. He understood guilt. He’d killed one of his closest friends with his own hands. But Brynn was condemning herself without real cause.

Almost against his will, Lucian reached for her. He knew the danger of touching her, but his need to comfort her was stronger than his need for self-preservation.

Drawing her into his arms, he settled back against the chair and pressed her face into his shoulder, offering solace. It was a measure of her distraction, he knew, that she permitted such closeness.

“I suspect his death was just an accident,” Lucian said quietly into her hair. “You can’t hold yourself responsible for an act of nature.”