Desire (Notorious 3)

“Certainly it is. You don’t have his blood on your hands. You were in no way responsible for his drowning.”

She stared at Lucian a long moment, struggling with her own inner demons.

“As for loneliness…” he said finally, his voice a whisper of velvet. “You needn’t feel alone any longer. We can console each other… drive away the loneliness together.”

Her throat tightened, leaving her unable to answer.

“I realize this marriage hasn’t been pleasant for you,” Lucian murmured. “Nor is it what I intended. I should never have left you alone so much of the time. I’ve been unforgivably cold… Concerned with my own wants, my own needs.” He gave a low laugh. “How is that for selfishness?”

Swallowing thickly, Brynn shook her head. “That wasn’t selfishness. You wanted a son.”

“But I could have been more considerate of your happiness. I am sorry, Brynn, for the way I treated you. I want you to be happy… Or if not happy, then at least content.”

His apology shredded her resolve to resist him. When he brushed her lower lip with his thumb, her breath faltered.

“We made such a poor beginning, Brynn, but it isn’t too late to start anew, is it? Our union can be more than a cold-blooded arrangement. We could have a real marriage rather than a battleground. I could be your husband in truth.”

Heat spread through her, catching hurtfully in her stomach. “No, Lucian. You are ignoring the danger of the curse. We can’t have a real marriage. If I came to care for you, you would die.”

His seductive mouth twisted. “I don’t believe that, love.”

“Lucian-”

His fingers pressed against her lips, hushing her. “I am willing to risk it. Curse or no curse, I’m done fighting you.”

He gave her a heart-ravaging smile, and Brynn felt herself melt inside. Her gaze dropped from his beautiful mouth to his bare chest, rippling with muscle in the candlelight. How could she resist that elegantly chiseled face, that hard, lean, graceful body? How could she resist his tenderness? How could she not resist?

She could feel herself dangerously softening toward Lucian. This tender, vulnerable side of him was so beguiling. It was too easy to care for him, too difficult to withstand his male allure. Her heart was too susceptible. If she let down her guard, she could go too far…

His thumb slowly stroked her lip, heightening her turmoil. “Don’t fight me any longer, Brynn…”

She felt his touch like flame, her senses had become so painfully acute. In desperation, Brynn glanced toward the door that separated their apartments, contemplating escape.

She heard Lucian’s quiet sigh, as if he realized he had gone too far. “You needn’t decide right now, love. I won’t press you.”

Gratefully Brynn started to sit up, intending to return to her own rooms, but Lucian put an imploring hand on her arm. “Please… don’t go. Stay with me tonight. Help me keep the nightmares at bay.”

She glanced down at him in despair, struggling with her conscience. She shouldn’t risk staying, yet she didn’t want him to suffer those terrible nightmares, either.

“I won’t assault you, I promise you.” His half smile was wistful, slightly mocking. “Although having you in my bed without touching you will likely be a torment.” When she still hesitated, his voice dropped to a rough whisper. “Stay with me, just for tonight. I need you, Brynn.”

Her heart wrenching at his plea, she lay down again. He leaned across her to snuff out the candle, and darkness instantly enveloped them. Brynn tensed when he drew the sheet up over them both, but at Lucian’s silent urging, she turned over, giving him her back. She lay there stiffly, willing her defenses to remain strong, even as his naked heat warmed her taut body.

“Sweet,” he murmured, nuzzling his face in her hair.

At length, she felt Lucian relax, felt his breathing grow soft and even. Eventually she realized he had fallen asleep holding her.

It was a long, long moment, however, before Brynn could feel the tension begin to drain from her own body. The quiet night was soothing, the darkness deeply sensual-and yet she found sleep impossible. It was painfully arousing, indulging in this closeness with Lucian, listening to his even breathing, his heat and hardness at her back. The physical intimacy only intensified her inner turmoil.

Her heart felt torn by longing. Lucian’s proposal was so tempting. He was offering her something deeper than the cold-blooded compact they had entered. A new start for their relationship. A real marriage. An end to loneliness.

But at what price? His life? How could she dare accept? She would be devastated were Lucian to die. She could never bear the heartbreak, the guilt. She had already begun to care for him too much…

Brynn shut her eyes tightly. Until now she had managed to withstand his powerful magnetism. Angered and hurt by his high-handedness and neglect, she had purposefully nursed her darker feelings to shield herself from her attraction, to protect Lucian from danger. And in truth, nothing had changed.

A sharp feeling of despair coursed through Br

ynn. She had no business letting herself even contemplate accepting his offer of a deeper relationship. Desires of the heart had no place in her life. She was a fool to be feverishly yearning for the elusive promise of love.