Desire (Notorious 3)

Pulling her arm free, Brynn moved over to a chair and sank down heavily. “I drugged you to keep you safe. I was trying to save your life.”

“Indeed?” His features were set like granite. “You’ll understand if I don’t believe you. You were aiding your brother in treason-keeping me out of the way so he could dispose of the gold.”

“No. I don’t deny I wanted you out of the way, but it was solely to save your life. Grayson said those men… they would kill you if you interfered tonight. I didn’t want you to die. I… I love you, Lucian.”

His very stillness sent a shiver through her. “I told you not to lie, Brynn.”

“I am not lying. I swear it. I fell in love with you, even though I tried desperately not to.”

“How convenient that you just now realize your feelings when you’re seeking to mollify me.”

She closed her eyes wearily. “I didn’t just realize my feelings. The change has been coming over me for weeks. You must believe me, Lucian.”

“Must I? You won’t convince me, Brynn. You’ve lied once too often.”

She shook her head. “If I lied, it was because I had no choice.”

“You had no choice.” The comment held contempt.

“Won’t you even listen to my reasons?”

“Very well. Try to explain your lies. Tell me about my seal ring. You gave it to your brother so he could arrange to steal the gold shipment.”

“That isn’t true! Gray took the ring from your study, yes, but they threatened to kill him if he didn’t comply with their demands.”

“They?”

“A smuggling ring. Gray says they’re vicious. He became involved unwittingly at first, because he needed money to repay our father’s enormous debts and to stave off our creditors. My brother isn’t evil. He just desperately wanted to save our family from penury or worse. He agreed to smuggle a cargo for them, not knowing it was gold. And then they began blackmailing him. He had to give them your seal or they would kill him.”

“Why didn’t you simply tell me?”

“I couldn’t take the risk that you would arrest him. Or that one of you might be hurt if you tried. After what happened between you and Giles…” She saw Lucian wince and continued more quietly. “I admit I wanted to protect my brother, but surely you can understand my feelings. You felt the same way about your friend Giles, you told me so. You grieved for his death. Well, I didn’t want Gray to die, any more than I wanted you to. Or Theo. They have threatened his life as well. And mine, for that matter.”

From the rigidity of Lucian’s jaw, she could tell he had no intention of trying to understand her dilemma.

Her voice dropped to an anguished murmur. “I didn’t know what else to do, Lucian. It has been terrible, feeling torn between people I love.”

He didn’t respond at all to her assertion. “That wasn’t your only lie. A few weeks ago you disappeared, but you weren’t with Raven or Meredith as you claimed. How do you explain that?”

“I visited a G

ypsy fortune-teller at a fair. I hoped to discover if there was a way to break the curse. I couldn’t divulge my purpose to you, Lucian, don’t you see? I couldn’t admit loving you, even to myself.” Her voice caught on a sob. “I was too afraid I would cause your death.”

“But you’re not afraid now?”

“Yes, I’m afraid! But it’s too late. I can’t help my feelings for you.”

He remained silent, his eyes dark and distrustful. “And did your Gypsy know of a remedy?” he asked finally.

“She said… I would have to be willing to give my life for you.”

His mouth curled. “I can’t imagine that happening.”

Brynn looked away, misery choking her. Lucian didn’t believe her, didn’t trust a word she said. Nor could she blame him. She had never done anything to deserve his trust. She had only fought with him and lied to him and tried to drug him…

Bleak despair washed over her. She felt tears streaming down her face, tears that Lucian evidently noticed.

“Weeping won’t sway me, Brynn.”