When Harry started to follow the butler, Aurora stopped him. "One moment, my young lordling. I believe you owe Mr. Deverill an apology."
Harry turned to Nicholas with reluctant contrition. "I am very sorry if I was rude, sir. Will you please forgive me?"
"You're forgiven," Nicholas said easily.
"And if I promise to behave, will you tell me about your ships?"
Nicholas smiled. "I would be happy to."
"Thank you." Harry glanced at Aurora. "He is not as bad as I feared, Rory."
When the boy was gone, Aurora felt Nicholas's gaze settle on her.
"He calls you Rory?"
"Harry could not pronounce my name when he was young, so I have always been Rory to him. I apologize for his earlier outburst. He really is a delightful boy."
"I can see that." Nicholas paused. "You handled him well. You would make a good mother."
Their eyes met, and she wo
ndered if he was thinking the same thought she was. What would their children have been like had their marriage been real and lasting?
Mentally Aurora chastised herself. She would be a fool to let herself dream of a true union with Nicholas. He wasn't the kind of man to give his heart to one woman. Love was a game to him, an adventure. He would satisfy a woman's carnal desires beyond her wildest imaginings, she had absolutely no doubt. But he would feel nothing deeper.
And with no stronger emotions to bind him, how long would it be before his restless urge to roam overtook him? Before the siren call of danger lured him from her side? Before he left her alone and heartbroken?
No, Aurora reminded herself as an ache of sadness twisted in her chest. There was no possibility of having children with Nicholas…
She suddenly caught her breath, remembering the unfinished matter between them. Nicholas was here, in her kitchen, because she had invited him to share her bed. Sweet heaven…
All at once the moment was filled with a new kind of tension. When his eyes caressed her, Aurora shifted in her seat, uneasy under his dark perusal.
Her resolve to keep him at a distance had nearly shattered this evening. She was suddenly grateful Harry had arrived when he had. Although he presented a problem – and was another unexpected male in her life – he had saved her from making a dreadful mistake.
"I think you should go," she murmured, her voice suddenly hoarse.
"You didn't feel that way an hour ago."
"An hour ago I was suffering from a touch of moon madness. And I did not know Harry would run away from home and seek refuge here."
"So you mean to hide behind him." It was not a question. "To use him as a convenient excuse to deny the desire you feel for me."
"No, Nicholas – "
"Yes. You're fooling yourself, Aurora. Deceiving yourself about what you really want."
"That isn't true. I was inexcusably rash this evening – " Aurora shook her head. "I have to think of my responsibilities. I have a duty toward Harry. His brother is gone, and Geoffrey would have wanted me to watch over him."
When Nicholas stared at her steadily, she added defensively, "It would be disloyal to Geoffrey's memory for me to be intimate with you tonight. I should never have forgotten that today is the anniversary of his death. It was unforgivable of me."
Nicholas's mouth tightened. "What is unforgivable is you burying yourself alive in the past. You have to forget your former betrothed, Aurora, and move on with your life."
She averted her gaze. "It is not so easy to forget the death of someone you love." Her voice dropped to a low murmur. "You cannot conceive what it was like for me to lose Geoffrey. He was more than my betrothed. He was a dear friend, someone I had loved nearly from the cradle. And after losing my mother – " Abruptly she bit off the sentence, her throat tightening at the memory. Nicholas wouldn't understand the rage of loss, the desolate feeling of helplessness, the unbearable loneliness she had felt at losing Geoffrey, too.
She had been devastated when her beloved mother had succumbed to an influenza epidemic. Geoffrey had been her solace, had comforted her and helped ease her anguish. And then he had died as well. It was so unfair that he had been cut down in the prime of life. But then… she had learned how useless it was to rail against fate.
Forcing back the pain as she always did, Aurora rose abruptly. "I don't intend to argue with you about this, Nicholas. I trust you can show yourself out."