Chapter Twenty-Three
The thought of never again knowing his touch, his fierce caress, is more than I can bear .
Her reflections bleak, Aurora entered her bedchamber to find the lamps had strangely been dimmed. Nicholas. She came to an abrupt halt, her heart leaping as she felt his presence.
"Oh, my lady, 'tis very dark here," her maid said from behind her.
"It's all right, Nell… I have changed my mind. I don't wish to prepare for bed just yet. I think I would prefer to sit quietly for a moment."
"Very well, my lady. Shall I turn up the lamp?"
"No, thank you. Please, seek your own bed. I won't require you this evening."
The maidservant curtsied and withdrew. Carefully bolting the door, Aurora turned around, her eyes searching the dim room. Nicholas sat in the shadows in the far corner, watching her.
She pressed a hand to her mouth, wondering for the thousandth time how she would ever tell him of her decision.
"So you spoke to him," he said finally, breaking the tense silence.
Slowly she nodded, struggling against the flood of tightness that closed around her throat. "Yes. Geoffrey still wants me for his wife."
For the span of several heartbeats, Nicholas made no reply. He simply watched her, his eyes dark and intense.
"I can't leave him, Nicholas. He has been hurt enough."
His voice was low and flat when he ventured to speak. "You want to sever our marriage."
"I… I have no choice. I cannot hurt him more than he has already been hurt. He has lost his arm, Nicholas. Can you imagine what it would be like to suffer such a fate? Geoffrey needs me to stand by him."
Time pulsed between them, dark and endless.
"What about your needs, Aurora?" Nicholas asked at last. "What of mine?"
Aurora shook her head. "My needs can't be allowed to matter. As for yours… You are far stronger than Geoffrey is."
Nicholas gave a mirthless laugh.
"I have known Geoffrey all my life, Nicholas," she said pleadingly, trying to make him understand. "He is part of my past… part of me…"
"And you love him." The words were stark, bleak.
She lowered her gaze. "I cannot abandon him. Can you not see that?"
"I see that you're trying to protect him. You're set on protecting everyone but yourself."
Hearing the sudden harshness of his tone, Aurora wrapped her arms around herself, as if to defend herself against his recriminations.
After a moment Nicholas drew a slow breath. "What do you want me to do?"
"I… I want you to try and seek an annulment."
He was silent and completely still. She moved closer, searching his expression in the shadows. He stared back at her, his face torn with a raw and agonizing emotion that mirrored her own.
"Very well," he said finally. "I'll try."
"You will try?"
"To have our marriage annulled. So you can be free to wed your true love."