To Pleasure a Lady (Courtship Wars 1)

her shoulder to eye Sybil, who was primly wandering the gardens under the strict dictates of Lady Freemantle. “Your sacrifice was obviously worthwhile. Sybil’s reputation was saved along with our academy’s. Even better, she is so disquieted by the possibility of being expelled that her behavior has become perfectly angelic. I vow I don’t recognize her anymore.” Tess returned her attention to Arabella. “Come now, the sun is warm enough to dry your gown quickly. I won’t allow you to mope on such a glorious day.”

When Arabella refused to respond, Tess frowned and sank down to sit on the grass beside her. “What is wrong, dearest? You have been perfectly miserable ever since Lord Danvers left for London.”

Wincing, she looked away. It was vexing to admit how wretched she’d felt since Marcus left. She had hoped her life would return to normal, but her hopes had proved futile, since everywhere she turned, she found reminders of him. Her misery was compounded by the fact that she hadn’t heard a word from him or his solicitors in all that time.

“Perhaps I am sickening with an ague,” Arabella prevaricated.

Tess gave her a penetrating look. “Perhaps you are lovesick.”

Unable to deny the charge, she returned a humorless laugh. “Is my condition so obvious?”

“Your unhappiness is obvious, at least.” Tess’s gaze searched her face. “But are you certain it is love you feel for him, Arabella, and not just a powerful physical attraction? It isn’t merely infatuation?”

She had little doubt of her feelings for Marcus, Arabella reflected, but it would be good to talk about her dilemma with someone who could understand. Tess knew about true love, since she had been sincerely in love with her betrothed. “I believe it is love, but how does one tell?”

Her friend’s gaze grew thoughtful. “The signs are usually recognizable. When you love a man, he becomes the center of your world. You yearn to be with him, and when you are not, he is constantly on your mind. He brightens your day. His simplest touch sparks passion in you…a tender look fires a warmth in your heart. Life feels empty without him.” Tess paused. “Is that how you feel about Lord Danvers, Arabella?”

Gazing down at her clasped fingers, Arabella nodded. That was precisely how she felt about Marcus, including the emptiness. Since he’d been gone, the hollow feeling inside her chest was a relentless ache that wouldn’t go away.

“You miss him sorely, don’t you?” Tess prodded in a sympathetic tone.

“Yes.” She missed him dreadfully.

“So what do you intend to do about it?”

Arabella gave a helpless laugh. “I don’t know.”

“Do you think he might love you in return?” Tess asked.

“He claimed he does.”

Tess stared. “Lord Danvers actually told you he loves you?”

“Yes…last week, just after we returned from rescuing Sybil. But I wouldn’t believe him. I feared he was just saying so to persuade me to accept his proposal.”

Her friend hesitated. “Arabella, he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man to declare his love without meaning it. I doubt he has ever made such a confession to any other woman.”

“No, I suspect not.”

“So how did you respond to his declaration?”

She flushed at the memory. “I’m afraid I panicked. That was the moment I realized I loved him, and I was suddenly terrified. I told Marcus that I had won the wager and wouldn’t marry him. That he would be better off leaving at once.”

“So that is why he left Danvers Hall? You drove him away?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” Tess said slowly, “it is not too late to mend matters. Not if you love each other.”

The stab of panic returned to lodge in Arabella’s chest. “But that is the problem, don’t you see? I can’t be certain of his love. And even if he does love me a little now, how do I know his feelings will last? There is nothing more hurtful than loving someone and not being loved in return. I know because I have experienced it.”

Tess shook her head. “Viscount Underwood was clearly not worthy of your love, but I believe Lord Danvers is. You must think so too, or you would never have allowed your affection to go so far. Isn’t that so?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love him as much as you loved Underwood?”

“Much more.” Her love for Marcus was far stronger than her first love had ever been, which meant the devastation would be far greater if it turned out to be one-sided.