Rotham was just as strong-willed as Lady Wingate, perhaps more so, Tess acknowledged. He was a nobleman accustomed to getting what he wanted—which was one of the prime sources of friction between them.
How could she wed a man who was so vexing, so overbearing, so dictatorial? His arrogant highhandedness made her blood boil.
“If anyone could induce me to murder, it would be Rotham,” Tess muttered to herself. “How can I endure an entire lifetime of being his wife?”
He was right on one score, however, she conceded grudgingly. It was difficult enough for her as a woman—and a single lady at that—to raise funds for even the most worthy causes. It would be impossible if she lived under a cloud of scandal.
And as Rotham had pointed out, as a duchess, she would be in a much better position to aid her charities. As it was now, she had only a fraction of the power and influence Rotham possessed by virtue of his rank and fortune.
Marriage to him, though, would shatter all her plans and hopes for her future, Tess thought despondently. She had earnestly hoped to find true love again. And recently she’d been encouraged by the success of her closest friends—the three beautiful but staunchly independent Loring sisters—and even her cousin, Damon Stafford, Viscount Wrexham. She’d watched this past year as one by one, they found love and happiness in marriage.
Although Tess didn’t know if she would ever love again, their felicity—no, their joy—had inspired her to play the matrimonial mating game once more. Besides, she wanted a husband and children someday. Thus, she was willing to risk the whims of fate, even though she knew firsthand how incredibly painful it was to lose a loved one.
Crossing to her valise, Tess pulled out the last letter Richard had ever written to her. My dearest love, the salutation began.
Her eyes welled with bittersweet pain as she smoothed the well-worn pages with her fingertips.
She had known Richard Sutherland all of her life, having grown up in the same country neighborhood in Chiswick, partway between London and Richmond. Since he was only two years older, they had played together as children. Surprisingly, their friendship blossomed further after he went off to university, chiefly because they kept up a written correspondence.
Tess was glad to have her dear friend Richard’s support at her comeout ball, particularly since she was flustered to meet his handsome elder cousin, Ian Sutherland, the sinful Duke of Rotham. Rotham had a wild reputation, but had attended her ball at the invitation of Lady Wingate, who had sponsored Tess’s entire London Season. His wickedness should have made him anathema at a young lady’s debut, but in the eyes of the hypocritical ton, the duke’s family connections combined with his high rank and enormous fortune made him a supremely eligible match.
Rotham’s powerful physical allure had unnerved Tess, though. In comparison, his younger cousin Richard was a much gentler man, sweet and thoughtful, instead of intense and dangerous to her peace of mind.
When that same night Richard had asked to court her, Tess had welcomed his suit and forcibly repressed her forbidden attraction to his wicked cousin.
She’d always wondered, however, if Richard had acted out of jealousy that night. Certainly he resented his cousin’s wealth, since Rotham controlled the purse strings and refused to increase his quarterly allowance.
Richard had chafed at his lack of funds, yet it surprised Tess when shortly after her comeout ball, he had entered the army on an officer’s commission purchased by the duke. Richard had never before shown interest in a military life, but he was not cut out to be a clergyman, and a gentleman of limited means had few ways to earn a livelihood other than the military or the Church.
He was off fighting the war when Tess lost her mother to a lung fever late that same year. Richard’s letters had comforted her greatly, though, and when he came home on leave and proposed to her, they had agreed to a quiet betrothal. They planned to marry after her official year of mourning for her mother ended, but before the wedding could take place, Napoleon escaped imprisonment and Richard was called back to war. Tragically, he was killed in the Battle of Waterloo in the summer of 1815.
To shut out her grief
at losing her betrothed, Tess had thrown herself into supporting various charities, including founding the Families of Fallen Soldiers. She also continued teaching classes part-time at her friend Arabella Loring’s Academy for Young Ladies. She had a modest fortune, so she wasn’t forced to work for her living, but she wanted to give herself a sense of purpose as well as fill the vast hole in her life.
Now, two years later, Tess had overcome her numbness of spirit and was satisfied with her life for the most part. But she still longed for love to replace the emptiness.
If she were ruined by scandal, though, what chance for love and marriage would she ever have? The lonely dreariness of a life lived in chaste spinsterhood held scant appeal.
That was the chief reason she had kissed Hennessy today, Tess remembered. For two years now, she’d led a colorless, passionless existence, one with no spark, no fire, and she’d vowed to change that.
But her resolve to live life more fully had landed her in deep trouble—
A quiet rap on her bedchamber door startled Tess out of her reverie. Quickly she wiped her damp eyes and returned Richard’s treasured letter to its velvet pouch and tucked the pouch into her valise.
When she opened the door, she found the youngest and most passionate of the three Loring sisters standing there. Lily had recently married Heath Griffin, the Marquess of Claybourne, after a spirited courtship. With Lord Claybourne’s financial support, she had initiated her own charitable endeavor, starting a home for destitute and abused women, and had attended Lady Wingate’s house party to help promote Tess’s causes.
“Is it true that you accepted Rotham’s proposal of marriage?” Lily demanded as she swept into the room.
“It is true that he proposed,” Tess said, shutting the door after the dark-haired beauty, “because we were caught in a compromising position. But I haven’t yet accepted his offer.”
“What in the world happened, Tess? I heard you were discovered together in a passionate embrace, but I thought you and Rotham were mortal enemies.”
“I wouldn’t call us mortal enemies, although we don’t get along.”
“Then why ever were you kissing him? And why would you allow it to go so far? Lady Perry said you looked as if you were already lovers.”
Tess flushed. “We are not lovers, Lily. We just … became carried away. The deplorable truth is, Rotham kissed me as a sort of experiment, and I lost my senses. I couldn’t help myself.”