“Well we’re all up so why don’t I make some coffee and start breakfast. It’s around five or so. Lou come on and help me,” Diana said, hoping that maybe Lori would confide in Maggie and calm down a bit.
They left the room and Lori covered her face with her hands.
* * * *
“Lori, talk to me, what’s going on? That was so strange and I’m worried. You couldn’t breathe. You lost the color in your face as you were gasping for air and grabbing your chest and throat. What’s going on?” Maggie rambled on as Lori tried to calm herself down and process her thoughts. She knew this was dangerous. She knew she couldn’t breathe. In her dreams she was being buried alive. She thought about Dante, Charlie, and Trevor and how safe and good it felt in their arms. Lori squeezed her eyes shut as she brought her knees to her chest. The tear escaped and immediately Maggie was alarmed.
She grabbed her sister and hugged her tightly as Lori held on to Maggie. She continued to fight the tears, blocking any others from escaping. Her sister Maggie needed her. Ben and her parents needed her. She was supposed to take care of herself and them not the other way around. Lori let go of Maggie and pulled away.
“That was crazy. I was dreaming and in my dreams I couldn’t catch my breath no matter how hard I tried. How did you know I was having trouble?” Lori asked as she pulled herself together.
“I could hear you screaming from the other room and I ran in here and you were gasping.” Maggie continued to tell her the whole story.
“Thank goodness Ben didn’t hear me.”
“That boy should be exhausted from yesterday. We were out playing all day with Jasper, Andrew, and Michelle. Are you sure you’re all right? You are going to meet Andrew in an hour, right?”
“I’ll see. Maybe. I don’t know. It was just a bad dream. I’m tired, working a lot and I—”
“Was out late with Charlie, Dante, and Trevor last night?”
“I stopped by the Cantrells’ to make sure they were all right after the accident and Charlie and I wound up talking for a while.”
“Talking, huh?” Maggie teased.
“Yes, we talked. I care a lot about him, Dante, and Trevor, but this may not work out.”
“What do you mean? You guys are perfect for one another. Plus they’re so in love with you. Is it the ménage thing? I know it’s crazy and you were just as shocked as I was to learn that these relationships exist, but it seems so right. I’ve met a few couples in town. Friends of Jasper’s, who were in the military and are now home settling down. Their ménage relationships seem amazing.”
“I guess that’s part of it. I’ve never had a boyfriend and definitely not three. With Charlie, Dante, and Trevor it’s like I have to bypass the dating thing and go for the big move. They’re older and set in their ways. I’m still trying to figure my life out.”
“That’s my fault. I made you miss out on things that I had the opportunity to do as a teenager. I screwed up and got involved with Derrick. You lost everything including your freedom to live when we left.”
“No, Maggie. It’s not your fault. You’re my sister and I love you. I went with you because I love you and I wanted to keep our baby safe.”
Maggie smiled. “You always think of Ben as your own instead of your nephew.”
Lori felt the tears reach her eyes. “I love him as if he’s my son. That’s the special bond we have. But in regards to the Henley brothers, things are moving kind of fast and I have so much to do. I need to focus on making more money for college. I’ve been working double shifts. Today’s my only day off. I’ll be working every night this week. Plus I picked up a few waitressing hours as well. I don’t want to get sidetracked. College costs money and money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“I know that, Lori, but you’re going to get burned out. You won’t be able to keep this schedule up after the summer and when your classes start. Plus you deserve some free time for yourself and your heart.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I plan on taking it one day at a time.”
“I wish you would slow down and let Mom and Dad help you.”
“No. That’s not an option. I want to handle this on my own. I prefer to do things on my own.”
They talked a little longer. Lori was certain Maggie was still worried but she couldn’t focus on that now. She had too much on her mind.
They got dressed and met their parents downstairs.
Lori left the house and reluctantly headed into town to see Dr. Henley. Her parents insisted and her mother even threatened to accompany her. There was no use in arguing with their mother. Ever since Lori and Maggie came home, their mother had been making up for lost time.
Lori drove her car down the road, thankful that she hadn’t seen Charlie, Dante, or Trevor. She was feeling confused suddenly. They were older, more worldly and sophisticated than she was. They had been involved with some Special Forces unit in the military and achieved their college degrees. They had accomplished so much and she had accomplished so little.
Dante, Trevor, and Charlie were confident, unafraid to say what they felt, and she couldn’t help but be intimidated. It was obvious how much more experienced they were, and even Michelle told her. It was public knowledge and Lori knew many women were after them. Even Shelly from Carl’s was interested in Charlie, Trevor, and Dante. She hated when they undressed them with their eyes and made lewd comments about what they would do if they got the Henley brothers naked and all to themselves.
Lori’s stomach ached and she felt a twinge of pain in her chest. Lori tried to push the thoughts from her mind. She was suddenly losing it. She was losing her grasp on life.