Password to Her Heart (The American Soldier Collection 9)

He stared at her as if he weren’t too sure that she was telling the truth, or perhaps he read through her tough exterior. Either way, this was who she was. She didn’t back down from anything. In fact, after surviving what she did, life couldn’t throw her into anything more dangerous or scary than what she’d gone through.

“You are one lucky lady to have five military men caring for you. I’m jealous,” the nurse said.

Shawna felt her cheeks warm. At the same time the nurse said that, Shawna had felt the loss of Mercury’s presence so close to her. Was she becoming attached to the five men? Did the nurse think that Shawna was involved romantically with all five of them?

As she lay back and closed her eyes, trying to relax while they prepared her for the exam, she thought about her five rescuers. They were definitely an attractive bunch. They were raw, hardcore men. Their good looks and calm demeanors would attract any woman around them, but it was that same raw, hard appearance that ran deep within their veins and made them so intimidating, lethal, and unpredictable. These men went through war, killed people so they themselves could survive. Anyone, especially a woman like her who just survived such an ordeal, would latch onto them, and imagine feeling an attraction they wouldn’t reciprocate. They knew pain, they knew taking things to the limit, and they didn’t do vulnerable or trust. The trust they shared was between their team members only. Just as her trust lay within her brother and no other person on this earth. It was how she conditioned herself to be. Guarded, untouched by a man so intimately in body and in soul.

She took a deep breath as the testing began and hoped that she was well enough to see her brother. She had heard the doctors and even the men talking when they thought she was asleep. Keith’s injuries were life threatening, even now after three surgeries. He might not recover.

The tears filled her eyes as she thought about life without Keith. How would she survive? These men, his team, couldn’t take care of her forever. She didn’t even know them. As she thought about that, Shawna realized something. She may not know them, but she felt safe and comfortable with them. Maybe because Keith had talked about his team like they were his family and he trusted them with the password. They represented everything a family should be or could be in a perfect world. They supported one another, they risked their lives for one another, and their trust and bond ran deep. Deeper than her own bond with Keith.

The tear rolled down her cheek and her heart ached. She took the time to pray that Keith survived, and that life would get better now for both of them. But something tugged at her heart. A fear, an inkling of a sensation that told her it wouldn’t. She would always be afraid to open up her heart, and to trust anyone but Keith. She couldn’t hold on to an attraction to five men just because they were compassionate and cared for her while Keith was trying to fight for his life. They were doing their job. They were protecting their own. As always it was time to suck up the pain and the fear she had and take care of herself. No one was reliable or trustworthy. Her life had changed in a matter of two weeks. Now, she was more alone and scared than ever before. Fear was a very powerful thing.

Chapter 7

Tiek was relieved that Shawna was healing well and there was no more concern over internal bleeding. In fact, the doctor said she could be discharged tomorrow. There was a lot for them to discuss with her to make her feel comfortable. As he slowly pushed the wheelchair through the ICU, they came upon Keith’s room where Tex and Lee stood outside, and Mercury was in there. He took a deep breath, knowing how difficult it was for himself to have seen Keith hooked up to so many wires and looking pale and weak. He couldn’t imagine Shawna’s reaction.

He locked gazes with Lee and Tex, who went from appearing sad and stern to smiling softly as their eyes lit up at the sight of Shawna. Both men bent down next to the wheelchair and said hello.

Lee touched her chin and smiled softly. “You look better. How are the ribs?” he asked.

“Good.” She tried looking past him toward the room.

“How did the tests go? No more bleeding?” Tex asked. She nodded.

“Everything is great. The doctor said she will probably be discharged tomorrow and placed in our care. We’ll talk about it later.”

“I want to see him. How is he? What have the doctors told you?” she asked Lee.

Lee and Tex stood back up and Tex looked away. Lee held her gaze.

“It’s touch and go, Shawna. They don’t know how his body will take to the surgery he had this morning. They’re monitoring him and say all we can do now is let him rest and heal.”

* * * *

Shawna nodded and felt the tears reach her eyes. She wouldn’t cry though. Keith needed her to be strong, and she needed to be strong, especially in front of these men who had taken over a caregiving role. She had to place some space between them so she could pull off independent and strong despite the desperate feeling to be close to them. She was becoming attached and that wasn’t healthy.

She spotted Mercury by Keith’s bedside and immediately saw the sadness in his eyes. He heard the sound of the wheelchair and turned to look at her. She felt her chest tighten as his eyes seemed to light up from seeing her. Maybe it was wishful thinkin

g or her subconscious trying to make her believe it was all right to feel attached to these men. But it wasn’t. They were strangers, too. Their commitment and dedication was to Keith and she was just extra they were forced to care for.

She placed her hands on the arms of the wheelchair and went to stand up when Mercury reached for her.

“Whoa, honey, you shouldn’t be standing. You’re ribs are still healing.”

“I want to see my brother,” she whispered, her eyes focused on Keith and all the tubes and wires. The sounds of beeping filtered loudly through all her senses. That scent of hospital and antiseptic after someone had surgery filled her nostrils. There was a large bandage over his shoulder. She immediately noticed the blackness under his eyes and his lips where a tube was taped to and going into his mouth. She grabbed onto the bed rail as Mercury’s large, hard hands gripped her hip bones to steady her.

She stared at her brother and felt deep concern. He didn’t look well at all. In fact, he looked like he was dead. But to the left she saw the monitors and the breathing tube that kept him alive. She knew he wasn’t dead, just resting and hopefully healing. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she reached up and caressed his cheek. “I love you, Keith. I’m here with you. I need you. I don’t have anyone but you. Please, Keith, please fight to stay alive.”

She sobbed softly and felt as if she would pass out when Mercury lifted her up into his arms. She heard the others by the doorway gasp, and she fought to be strong.

“Put me down,” she said to Mercury while trying to make her eyes focus clearly. She was so overcome with emotions and fear. It consumed her and took all the strength out of her. Lee was there with the wheelchair, but Mercury held her in his arms. His stern expression, his firm lips, and piercing blue eyes held her gaze. His older, more mature and experienced demeanor was comforting, and she fought to not give in to the need to be held and hugged, consumed by the security he and his arms could provide. She cried. “Put me down. I don’t need coddling.” His expression changed to something other than upset, but then it went blank and she couldn’t read him as he slowly set her down in the chair. Lee was starting to push her from the room.

“No. I want to stay. I am staying here for a little while. Alone,” she said. Lee looked at the others and she couldn’t bear to see the insult and disappointment on their faces. She felt terrible and damned herself for wanting to keep these men by her side for support.

Lee wheeled her closer to the bed. She stared up at her brother as he rested. The sound of the machines keeping him alive pounded in her head.

“I’ll come back in a little while. The nurses won’t let you stay too long.”