She shook her head and he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her.
She found herself letting go in that kiss, in the safety and security of Evan’s big, strong arms. He pulled her closer, wrapped an arm around her waist, and held her tightly as he kissed her lips gingerly. As that kiss grew deeper, his hand moved along her hip to her ass and he squeezed her tighter to him while he plunged his tongue in deeply. She moaned into his mouth, ran her hands along his firm, thick waist and then to his back. They were battling for control of the kiss when she realized this was totally getting out of control. Suddenly, she wanted to take a chance, but the fear held her back.
He must have sensed her need to slow things down as he eased his mouth from hers, then trailed kisses along her neck and collarbone, then to the V of her blouse. She tilted her head back and ran her fingers through his hair.
“Oh, God, Evan, this is crazy. I want to let go. I want to believe you won’t hurt me, but the pain, the fear is just stronger.”
He eased his mouth from her skin and cupped her cheeks with his palms. “It doesn’t have to be, baby. Tell me what’s so scary? Is it our ages, our professions, our intense personalities? I know Ghost scares you and Kenny, but he’s just stuck in his own way, a soldier. He’s been through so much. We all have, and getting back to normal and feeling vulnerable and emotional about things is difficult for a Beret to swallow. But goddamn, baby, do you make it worth all the fears we have.”
He kissed her again and then released her lips as he pressed his body against hers.
“It’s not you. It’s me.”
He squinted at her and licked his lower lip. Her breasts swelled and her pussy actually spasmed.
“He was abusive and hurt you?” he asked her and she immediately felt the fear, the embarrassment, and the disgust with herself as her eyes filled up with tears and her nose clogged up. She tried swallowing the lump of emotion but couldn’t.
“Did he hurt Kenny, too? Is that part of your fears? That we’re soldiers, we’re intimidating to the both of you, and remind you of your ex?”
She shook her head.
“You’re not him.”
“If you know that, then why not let us in?”
“I’m damaged, Evan. I’m too damaged to ever let a man that close to me again.” She closed her eyes and the tears fell. Evan hugged her tightly and caressed her back.
“You’re not damaged, baby. You’re still healing. A man isn’t supposed to hit his woman, make her feel worthless and so broken. A woman—you, Lois, deserve to be protected, cared for, and loved. So does Kenny. I want to be here for you. I want to learn everything about you and help you feel whole and beautiful again, Lois. You’re so damn beautiful,” he said to her as he pulled back, cupped her cheeks, and kissed her again.
She let go a little more and kissed him back. When he released her lips, she hugged him tight.
“I need time and patience, Evan. Lots of time and patience.”
“You got it. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are my brothers.”
* * * *
“You’re so busy trying to fight this, Ghost. Sometimes men who have experienced the things you did need a little help. The sleeping aids aren’t addictive.”
“It’s not that, Dr. Morgan. It’s the way I feel when I take them,” Ghost said to him.
“What do you mean? You feel groggy afterward when you wake up?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
Ghost ran his fingers through his hair. He was only talking about this and trying to figure shit out because of Lois and Kenny. The way that kid looked at him like he was a monster made him feel like shit. Then, of course, Lois looked scared of him, too, and his attitude and firmness. Perhaps if he got a decent fucking night’s sleep he wouldn’t be such a prick? He didn’t know what the fuck to think or why he was even changing things and talking like this when Lois deserved better. He just couldn’t get her off his mind.
“I won’t be ready if something happens during the night. Being unprepared for an attack, even though I know I’m safe at home on the ranch, just doesn’t sit right with me. I feel antsy and combative.”
>
The doctor nodded his head and exhaled slowly.
“Now I understand. It’s a natural feeling because of always being on guard and prepared, as a good soldier should be. It’s part of transitioning into civilian life. You have to train your mind to understand that you’re safe. That your brothers are there and they have your back, which is a plus.” Ghost nodded his head and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Will you give it a try?” the doctor asked him, and Ghost nodded his head.