It had taken Drake’s equal experiences and stronger confidence plus Mark’s persistence to get Lucas to hold on and stay with them. He looked above the clock at the desk wall and the various things he had posted there. Diane’s picture, Drake had taken a few months ago was sitting in the center. How many times had he looked up at that picture and wondered if he were good enough for her? Whole enough for such a beautiful woman?
He didn’t think he could ever be intimate with a woman again where he could release himself fully. Sure, he had needs and he took care of those, out of town, hell, out of the area entirely. He wondered if there was something wrong with Drake, Mark and him for seeing Diane, deciding that they wanted to share her, yet not asking her if that was what she wanted.
They hoped that she was interested and just as attracted to them, but what if she wasn’t? Her attitude toward Mark was not so positive the other night despite Mark’s interpretation. As they were getting closer to telling Diane how they felt, Lucas wondered if he should back out now. He wasn’t good at talking, at showing his affection, and Diane could feel like she had to settle and accept him when she accepted his brothers. It didn’t sit right. The more he thought about it, the more he realized what he had to do.
His chest tightened and he felt that guilty, worthless feeling inside. It was time.
* * * *
Mark couldn’t believe the phone call he received from Blaze Weathers. Brenda’s commander called to let Blaze know that Brenda was missing and was presumed dead. Mark ran his fingers through his hair. He felt terrible. Hell, he couldn’t believe that she was dead, and until there was concrete evidence of that, he wasn’t going to mourn her.
He felt a slight tightness in his chest. It was kind of a guilty feeling even though there was nothing between them anymore. But they worked together. They shared one or two lonely nights in the field, and she had just called him recently. That bothered him more. She wasn’t working on any special cases. Her commander said she was taking time off and was about to embark on a two-week vacation.
What the hell happened? This wasn’t like Brenda.
He thought about the case they worked on a couple of years ago. He was in charge of extricating a certain wanted killer from Argentina, back to the United States. Mark had tracked him, thanks to Brenda, to Wyoming, where she just happened to be working undercover to try and snag a team of smugglers. Their cases crossed, and they worked hand in hand to bring down a pretty large organization. They were all under the command of some unknown individual in Persia. But that wasn’t Mark’s job. He got his man and aided the agents, including Brenda, with arresting over a dozen men. The worse part of that case was how close they got to identifying and capturing the Persian. But something went down back at headquarters and Brenda’s commander called them off. It never sat right with any of them.
* * * *
“What’s that serious expression for, bro?” Drake asked Mark as he walked into the kitchen. Mark was staring at some papers and glancing at his laptop computer.
Mark didn’t respond.
“Hey, Mark,” Drake repeated, and Mark looked up, appearing rather preoccupied.
“Hey, sorry, what’s going on?” Mark asked but then looked back at the computer screen as he used the mouse pad to scroll down.
“Working on something for the big man?” Drake asked, referring to all of Mark’s secret government jobs in such a way.
Mark released a sigh and then looked back at him. Drake could tell right away that something was bothering him.
“What’s up?”
“I don?
?t know. I mean I’m not sure,” Mark said as he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. He still looked bothered and upset at something.
“You seem preoccupied with what you’re reading on the screen.”
“Well, I am actually. Do you remember that case I was working on two years ago, when I headed out of the country and then to Wyoming for a few months?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember Brenda?” Mark ran his hands through his crew cut hair.
“Sure, she was one of the agents from out there. You guys got close.”
Mark licked his lower lip and then took a deep breath and released it.
“Wait, you got more than close. You were sleeping with her?” Drake asked.
Mark leaned back in his chair. “It was a quick fling. We weren’t right for one another, and most importantly she wasn’t right for us. But she was a good person.”
“I could tell that you cared for her. Hell, Mark, there’s nothing wrong with the fact that we’ve all had our share of women. Lucas and myself especially were on a rampage of self-destruction when we returned from serving. So what’s the deal? Did Brenda send you something?”
Mark looked up at him. “Brenda’s missing.”
“Missing?”