Insanity (Asylum 1)

I try not to scream, so the words come out strained. “I’m yours. All yours, Damien.”

At that moment, the room collapses around me when I feel myself and Damien completely let go. His name is on the tip of my vocal cords and I swallow hard to keep myself from shouting it. He tenses and he pulls me closer to him when he finds his release and then breathes softly into my hair, his fingers digging into my stomach.

Seconds after, I feel the tears pooling in my eyes. I try to suck them back, determined to not let him see me like this, but I let out a soft whimper and Damien is pulling me to his chest again and kissing my hair. “Why the tears, my love?” he asks.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I tell him. What I don’t tell him is that I’m scared because I don’t know when I’ll be able to see him again.

Thinking of him is not enough. Watching him from afar is not enough. Surviving on memories of the past is not and will never be enough.

Damien traces my jawline with his fingertip and brushes my hair away from my face. I find his blue eyes in the dark, gripping onto his biceps, wanting to never let go. He kisses me softly. “Soon, you won’t have to leave me, baby.” His voice is filled with certainty. Does he know something I don’t?

“What?”

“I’ve got a plan, Addy,” he says with confidence. “I am going to get you out of here.”

Chapter 10

~BEFORE~

The sky is cloudless with miles of powdered blue as a backdrop. The wind is breezy, not too forceful, but not too soft, and the sunshine is heavy. We’re in the field behind my house, hidden amongst the long swaying grass. The humidity is nonexistent, so I’m wearing a floral dress, covered by a blanket of Damien’s arms.

Damien reaches beside him and plucks a piece of yellowed, dead grass then trails it along the bare skin on my arms. As the hardened, dead grass connects with my skin, it makes me shiver and tickles me at the same time. I can’t decide if I should moan out in pleasure or laugh out gleefully. Damien continues moving the grass down the length of my body and then moves it up my thigh higher and higher until the end disappears underneath the skirt of my dress. He rests it against my underwear and at that point I laugh and snatch the blade of long grass from his fingertips. “Ha!” I wiggle the piece of grass in his face then trail it along his arms. “Now who has the upper hand?”

Damien snorts then his sapphire eyes move in a circle before resting on me. “We’re in a field full of grass, you beautiful silly girl.” He plucks another long piece of grass and slaps his palm with it. “Now if I were you, I’d start running.”

I’m on my feet with my hands on my hips and a smirk of my face. “What are you going to do? Whip me?” A beating by a blade of grass, seriously, what is he on?

“Who knows what I’m capable of?” he says, a devilish glint in his eye. “But if I were you, I’d start running.” He picks up a foot and moves closer. He’s so close that when he leans over, his cool breath that smells of chocolate and mint leaves washes over my face. “Now.”

With that I take off running. I’m pumping my legs as hard as I can, pushing my body to its limit as I put more distance between Damien and I and pick up speed. I glance over my shoulder to see if he’s still behind me. He’s not. Where the heck is he? I can still hear his feet crunching against the grass. I can still feel the heat of another body close by. He has to be hiding from me or something, but just when I turn my head and think of calling his name, he jumps from an area where the long grass grew in a thick patch. He scares the crap out of me. My heart is racing. My stomach is all jittery. He lunges for me and I try to dodge him, but his long arms ensnare me by the waist and pull me to the ground.

We roll onto our backs and laugh together. I laugh so hard that my mouth is dry and my side aches. I hug myself and try to control myself, but when I look over at Damien, the laughter flies out of my mouth and the smile slips from my face. “Damien, is something wrong?”

He gazes up into the pale blue sky and inches his fingers toward my hand. I lie on my back next to him and he takes my hand, brings it to his lips and kisses it. “Nothing,” he says. “I was just thinking about how lost I was until I found you. And I was also thinking about how much I love you.”

“And I love you.” I enunciate each word then lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “So much.” Sometimes I feel like I love him so much that there’s no room for me to feel anything else. But I don’t mind. I don’t mind that my feelings for him

smother everything else. No one has ever uttered those three words to me. Well, not since my mother left, but that was years ago.

His thumb grazes over the skin between my thumb and forefinger. “We’re having a brunch tomorrow, will you come?” he asks.

I mull over my answer before coming up with, “Maybe.” It’s not that I don’t want to come, I do. Honestly, if he and I could be together every waking minute, I’d relish our time together, and I’ve convinced myself that we’d live happily ever after. But after my last run in and little talk with his mother, I’m not sure if I want to have another one.

“Just maybe?” He smiles, winks, and crooks his forefinger brushing it over my upper cheek. “Why just maybe? I thought you said you loved me,” he teases.

We roll onto our sides and face each other. Damien reaches out and twists a piece of my hair between his fingertips. I shiver in delight when the tip of his finger grazes against my skin. “I do love you,” I tell him. “But tomorrow is a Saturday and Daddy will be home all day. I don’t think he’ll let me go.”

Daddy doesn’t let me do anything. Plus if it’s a Saturday and he’s off, I know that he’ll be drunk all day long and I’ll have double the housework to do. And Daddy doesn’t like it when I get behind on the housework. And I don’t like to make, Daddy, angry.

Damien is silent for a moment. “Okay then.” He smiles. I love his smile. It’s perfect. It’s beautiful. It brings a smile to my lips. “I’ll meet you tomorrow evening then?”

“Of course my love.”

He hovers close. “Beneath the willow tree at dusk?”

I nod and smile. The ancient willow tree in my backyard is our haven. We meet there at dusk almost every day. Then we lie together, wrapped up in our love and each others arms for hours and watch as the sun fades and the night sky comes to life.

His lips flutter over top of mine and when he pulls away, I notice the heat in his eyes. “I’ve never seen eyes like yours,” he brushes some of my hair away from my face to get a clearer look, “they’re stunning.”