Insanity (Asylum 1)

The glass syringe falls from his fingertips shattering on the floor. He wipes the spit from his face and then with a growl, backhands me. Pain shoots through my cheek and trails down my jaw and I think about crying out in pain, but I don’t. Instead I start laughing. I laugh so loud that my laughter bounces off the walls and fills up the entire hall.

“Fucking lunatic,” Dr. Morrow says through gritted teeth. He’s back on his feet and I rest my cheek flat against the cold floor. The icy temperature puts out the fire from his slap. For some reason I can’t stop laughing and my whole body vibrates.

The soles of Dr. Morrow’s shoes squeak against the floor. Just when I think he’s going to turn and wander off to retrieve another vile of drugs to inject into me, I hear a faint gasp from Marjorie, followed by, “Dr. Morrow, no!”

I turn my head for a second.

Just in time to see Dr. Morrow’s right heel, rubber sole and all, crushing my fingertips.

Chapter 19

~BEFORE~

That hot night in July, underneath the weeping willow Damien, and I came up with a plan. He’d go away for his first semester of college, and when he returned for winter break, we’d pack our things, and by December 29th, we’d be gone. Far away from, Iowa. Far away from his mother, and my daddy.

Damien told me he’d like to live in a city. Possibly Los Angeles. Or maybe even Seattle. I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.

Tonight is my last night with him. He leaves for college in the morning. I’m lying in his arms beneath the willow tree, my ear against his chest. The gentle strum of his heartbeat fills my ears and I take in a deep breath, breathing

in the scent of his body and musky cologne. I open my eyes, stare up at him, and trace the buttons on his white shirt that practically glows against his tanned skin with my fingertips. “I’m going to miss this.”

He places two fingers beneath my chin and places a soft kiss against my lips. “Me too.” He shifts and we both lie down on our sides facing one another. The wet grass tickles my skin and the radiant smile on Damien’s lips melts my heart. “Come here,” he whispers. I start scooting closer, but before I can get all the way over to him, he slides his hand over my hip and pulls me the rest of the way.

“I was lost before I met you,” he tells me. Then he crushes his mouth to mine and the warmth of his lips sends a zing through my core all the way down to the pit of my stomach.

But what this beautiful man doesn’t know is that I was the one who was lost. Not him. Me. I had no hopes for a future and had been led to believe that no one would ever love me the way he does.

For the longest time I felt like I was wandering aimlessly through my life. The only thing I could look forward to were my morning walks and dreams of getting out on my own someday. Then Damien came along.

Damien brought me hope. Brought love into my life. He lit up my darkened world with a bright smile. Filled my mind with beautiful images and memories.

He came up with a plan.

We will have a future together. We will.

And in my eyes, our future is bright. Our future is beautiful. It’s long and happy. I can envision it in my mind. Damien will come home from work and I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner. He’ll kiss me on the cheek, hold me in his arms, and our two children, one girl, one boy, will be sitting at the dinner table laughing. We’ll be a big happy family. Something I’ve never had but always wanted.

Damien plays with the hem of my dress, his fingertips lightly brushing my thigh with each twist of the fabric. Every time his heated skin connects with mine a warm shiver of delight circulates between my legs. I look up at him earnestly, so full of love, so full of passion, so full of bliss that it pours out of me. I trail my fingers along his cheek, fanning them out, marveling in the softness of his sun-kissed skin. His right hand moves up my dress and the tips of his fingers dig into my thigh. My fingers find his silky midnight hair and I pull his face closer with a gentle tug. “Make love to me,” I murmur against his lips.

A slight twitch and he lifts his face away a few centimeters. “Are you sure?” Worry is etched on his features, a straight line on his lips.

I press my lips against his and as he opens his mouth I can taste a mixture of coffee and chocolate. “I’m sure.”

I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

He raises his eyebrow. “Are you sure, you’re sure?”

I let out a soft laugh and playfully slap his shoulder as he buries his head in the crook of my neck. “Yes.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I know what they say about girls when they, well, you know?”

I know what they say too. They call those types of girls loose girls . Daddy calls them harlots. It’s the same thing, different words. But I’m neither a harlot or loose.

Sometimes I think I love Damien so much that I feel like just our time together is never enough. I want him to have more of me and I want more of him. “Damien, I love you. I want to.” This isn’t some cheap one night fling. It’s raw, real, and true. It’s the kind of love you only experience once in your life, if that, and I don’t want to waste any aspect of it.

Damien’s lips touch mine and he begins gently caressing my lips with his. I return his kiss eagerly and throw my head back with a gasp when he moves away from my mouth and his tongue traces a line down my neck to my collarbone. Bright white stars beam down from the heavens and fill my gaze as Damien’s hands slide up my thighs and spread my legs apart, his needy fingers brush against my stomach as he removes my underwear. Then he sits back on his knees, lifting his shirt over his head. I suck in a breath and bite my lip.

I’ve seen him shirtless on a few occasions. But there’s something about this moment. Something about the way the moonlight ripples over his chiseled abdomen and illuminates his entire body that makes him look completely breathtaking. Intensity burns in those blue blue eyes and as he helps me remove my dress an overwhelming anxiousness bursts through me at the thought of our bodies melting together. I want it. I need it.