Expanding.
I just can’t stop thinking about her.
I’ve never met a female who is genuine. Sure, they all come at me, flashing big bright smiles, manuevering their stacked bodies in just the right way, and knowing that I’m a man and that I have carnal urges.
Sometimes I let those carnal urges do the thinking for me.
Sometimes more often than not.
When Hadlee wet her lips earlier, I had to shift into an uncomfortable position because just witnessing that made my dick hard.
But that’s the thing. She did it so innocently. She had no idea what kind of effect it would have on me and I imagine she doesn’t know what kind of effect she’d have on men in general. The woman, without question is clueless and not to mention earth shatteringly beautiful.
No.
Not hot.
Beautiful.
There is a difference between hot and beautiful. Hot is a woman who has it going on. Curves for days. A Round ample ass. Preferably, in my case, a set of jugs big enough to fit in the palm of my rather large masculine hands. And when you see this type of woman, the only thing you can think of is how nicely your bike would fit into her trunk.
Beautiful, that is on a whole different level and something I have had yet to experience. Until Hadlee came along that is.
Beautiful is seeing a woman smile and the simple sight of it nearly takes your breath away. Their little quirks aren’t irritating, but are instead adorable, and you find yourself staring at them because you’re so mesmerized by everything they do. And then you find yourself wondering how another human being could create something so perfect. Something so…beautiful. Finally your mind swirls, jumbling up the words before they leave your throat and part of you feels tense. Nervous. Even jumpy. You know you’re completely out of their league, but the fight in you wants you to try as hard as you can to get inside their head. Make them understand that deep, down inside you really are a good person and worthy of just being in their prescence.
It’s like something goes off inside of you. Something similar to a nuculear bomb and you can help but want to protect your beauty.
Love her.
Caress her gently.
Be a different man with her.
Fuck. I rub my head with my good hand and sigh. I am not this guy. I don’t say adorable, well technically I just did but that doesn’t count. I was using it as a reference. I don’t get involved any further than a wham bam thank you ma’am. And I don’t let myself get attached to people. In my experience, attachments are just let downs waiting to happen. The second you drop your guard its like everything blows up in your face.
Besides, it’s not like Hadlee would ever be interested in a guy like me. And judging by the way she ran from me just now I know that for sure. I’m no good for her. She deserves some one true. Someone good. Not someone who has to go through his entire life pretending he’s something he’s not. Not someone with multiple arrest records, a gun beneath the floorboards in his bedroom, or someone who used to hustle blow and think nothing of it.
No…
I take that back.
I do have have a conscious.
And sometimes I hate when it comes out.
That nagging voice that just bounces around the walls of your brain.
It’s always there.
In the back of my already fucked up mind.
A constant reminder of what a dirtbag I really am.
I can hear it now.
You know you shouldn’t be doing this Sean.
Selling drugs is not a way of life.