‘You have to believe that I love you,’ Lydia sobbed emotionally. ‘That I’ve always loved you. I’ve just been too afraid to show it, too cowardly.’
‘Never that,’ Meg assured her firmly. ‘You’re the least cowardly woman I know.’
Lydia reached out and gently touched her cheek. ‘You were such beautiful babies, such lovely children, but at the back of my mind was always the fear that—It’s no excuse.’ She shook her head with self-disgust. ‘David, my darling David, decided after his heart attack that things had to change, that they would change, but even then I continued to fight him. I’ve been so wrong,’ she choked.
‘It’s because of the way I’ve been that we aren’t a closer family, that Meg, alone and so afraid when she knew she was expecting Scott, chose to keep his birth a secret for almost six months, and even after that stayed away from us all this time rather than let us help her. For that I will never forgive myself.’
Meg had chosen not to come to her parents when she had had Scott? That wasn’t the impression he had got—that Meg had deliberately given him. But why had Meg stayed away. For all that Lydia had been emotionally distant, it seemed that they had offered to help her.
‘If your father hadn’t insisted on inviting you here for Christmas, then we would probably still be estranged.’ Lydia frowned. ‘All these years David has stood by and watched, loving me, loving his daughters, but not knowing how to bring us all together. It took nearly losing him a few weeks ago to bring me even partially to my senses, and even then I still held you both at a distance when you got here. But Scott, darling Scott—’ her voice quivered with emotion ‘—although I tried to fight it, to fight loving him, was the one to bring all my barriers crashing down around my ears.’ She gave a shaky smile. ‘He is so beautiful, so like I imagined James would look at that age.’ She broke off, too emotional to go on.
Jed felt an uncomfortable witness to this woman’s heartache, and he could see by Jeremy’s expression that he felt the same intrusion. This moment belonged to these three women alone.
And David, he acknowledged as Lydia turned to include him in their circle, the four of them now hugging each other so tightly there was no room for anyone or anything else.
‘It’s going to be so different now. I’m going to be so different. If you will let me…?’ Lydia looked at them all uncertainly.
‘Well, of course we’ll let you,’ Meg assured her with a shaky laugh. ‘You’re our mother, for goodness’ sake.’
‘Of course you are.’ Sonia hugged Lydia before sitting back. ‘But as this is a time for sharing secrets—’
‘Sonia.’ Meg cut her off sharply as she looked across at her sister.
‘It’s okay, Meg,’ Sonia assured huskily. ‘I’ve spoken to Jeremy, and—’
‘It is not okay,’ Meg rasped angrily as she stood up abruptly, her eyes deeply green in the paleness of her face.
Sonia sighed. ‘Meg, I have to.’
‘No, you don’t.’ Meg glared down at her twin, her hands tightly clenched at her sides. ‘We made a pact, you and I, a pact I’ve kept, and I will not let you do this.’
Jed stared at the two women, as Lydia and David were now doing too, wondering what pact they could possibly be talking about. Whatever it was, Meg looked ready to do physical damage to keep it.
Sonia reached out an appealing hand. ‘Meg, darling.’
‘No.’ Meg stepped away from that hand, breathing hard in her agitation. ‘If you do this, Sonia, I swear I will never, ever forgive you.’
Sonia was as pale as her twin now, her hand dropping limply back to her side. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Meg.’
‘Don’t you?’ Meg scorned. ‘Then you have a very strange way of showing it.’
‘But it’s all right, Meg,’ Sonia insisted firmly. ‘I’ve explained to Jeremy, and he understands.’
‘I don’t care whether he understands or not.’ Meg was shaking with angry emotion. ‘I don’t understand. Do you hear me? I will never forgive you for this. Never.’ She turned and almost ran from the room.
Leaving a stunned silence in her wake.
Jed was the first to move, getting abruptly to his feet, his expression grim as he quickly followed Meg from the room, having no idea what was going on, only knowing that Meg was in pain and he needed to go to her.
Chapter 11
Meg was quickly throwing her things into a bag when she sensed Jed had entered the bedroom, not bothering to turn and look at him, only knowing she had to get away from here. Had to call a taxi, wake Scott up, and get as far away from here as she possibly could.
Never to return.
Her hands clenched on the jumper she had been about to throw into her bag, her pain a physical thing.
To have finally made her peace with her mother, to understand her at last, had been something she had thought would never happen.
But what Sonia was about to do made any thought of a family reconciliation impossible.
‘Meg, what’s going on?’ Jed queried softly from behind her.
What was going on? Sonia was about to shatter Meg’s life into a thousand pieces, that was what was going on.
‘Meg?’
‘Will you just leave me alone?’ She turned on him fiercely, two bright wings of angry colour in her cheeks.
He frowned darkly. ‘I’m trying to understand.’
‘Why?’ she challenged scathingly. ‘You’re leaving in the morning, Jed, so why do you need to understand anything about this dysfunctional family?’
He flinched as she threw his own phrase back in his face. ‘I asked you this once before: what secret do you and Sonia share that is so big it pushes the two of you apart, and you have chosen to estrange yourself from your own family because of it?’
She glared at him. ‘I don’t believe that is any of your business.’
‘I’m making it my business,’ he came back tautly.
‘And I’m refusing to answer you.’ she came back challengingly.
Jed became suddenly still. ‘Why?’ he looked at her searchingly.
‘It has something to do with Scott, doesn’t it?’ he added with soft shrewdness.
Meg felt her face go paler even as she refused to drop her gaze from his. She had seen that speculation in his gaze earlier today as he’d looked at Scott, had managed to divert his attention then, and had no intention of satisfying his curiosity now, either.
‘Did you and Sonia argue about Scott’s father—is that it?’ He frowned.
Meg gave him a confused look. ‘What?’
Jed frowned. ‘Were you involved with him and then found out that Sonia had been involved with him too—?’ He broke off as Meg began to laugh. ‘I’m trying to make sense of this; what the hell is so funny?’ His frown deepened darkly.
Nothing. There was absolutely nothing about this situation that was in the least funny. But Jed was so far off the mark with his speculation that it seemed funny.
Her laughter was hysteria rather than amusement, tears falling down her cheeks at the same time as she laughed.
‘Let’s go through to the other bedroom,’ Jed muttered as Scott moved restlessly in his sleep, taking hold of Meg’s arm before she had time to protest and pulling her into the adjoining bedroom, closing the door softly behind him.
Meg’s tears were falling in earnest now, hot, scalding tears that burned her cheeks, her anger turning to despair.
How could Sonia do this to her? How could she just think she could tell Jeremy the truth and everything would be all right?
Because it wouldn’t. There was no way Meg would give up without a fight. And it would be a fight that would rip this family apart like never before.
‘Tell me, Meg,’ Jed urged forcefully as he shook her slightly. ‘For God’s sake, tell me.’
She shook her head. ‘I can’t,’ she choked. ‘I promised that I wouldn’t.’
‘A promise Sonia is no longer going to keep,’ he reminded softly.
Meg looked up at him, pain blinding her. ‘How could she do this?’ She shook her head dazedly. ‘How can she even think about…about…’ She sat down heavily on the bed, her face buried in her hands as the sobs racked her body.
‘Meg, if you don’t tell me what’s going on—’ Jed sat down beside her, his hands on her shoulders ‘—if you don’t tell me then I swear I will go back downstairs and demand the truth from Sonia.’
She shook her head as she looked up at him, emotional exhaustion etched on her face.
‘Meg, please.’ Jed’s hands fell from her shoulders. ‘How can I help you if I don’t know what’s going on?’
‘You can’t help me.’ She shook her head. ‘No one can,’ she added dully. ‘And why would you even want to?’ She gave a humourless smile. ‘We mean nothing to you.’
‘You mean something to me,’ he cut in harshly. ‘You and Scott both mean something to me. And if someone is trying to hurt you, then I—’
‘You, what?’ Meg cut in dismissively. ‘You may be the rich and famous Jerrod Cole, but no amount of money can make this right.’