A wide smile breaks out on his full lips. “Don’t cry, love.”
The sound of his voice is like a gift from God and my previously absent heart magically reappears and starts racing. “This isn’t real,” I cry, trying to reassure myself. “You aren’t real.”
Damien gets up, walks down the aisle and sits next to me. “Don’t you remember, my silly beautiful girl?”
I reach out to touch him and feel the warmth from his skin beneath my fingertips. “Damien,” I gasp and pull his lips to mine. They feel hot and wet and his sweet, sweet breath wafts into my mouth. “You’re here!” I can’t help but cry as I plant kisses all over his face.
“You sure you’re okay?” The bus driver says again.
I ignore him and continue assaulting Damien with my kisses. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Of course I’m here,” he tells me. “Don’t you remember what I said?” We gaze into each other’s eyes and he touches my cheek. “I said that I’d follow you anywhere.”
~ ~ ~
In my head, I hear Mommy's voice.
She hums there.
She tells me wonderful things.
That she misses me. That she loves me. That I’ll always be her little bird.
Her voice vibrates, bouncing off the inner walls of my cranium.
“I love you, Addy. I love you, Addy. I love you, Addy.” Her voice is like a dream. Too magnificent sounding to be real.
Closing my eyes, I revel in the sound of her voice. I pretend like I've had it and listened to it my whole life. I pretend that she was never murdered and she was the one who raised me. She raised me in house full of love and pure, incandescent happiness.
I imagine that we wake up every day with bright smiles on our faces and flip pancakes together in the kitchen. We laugh and play and laugh and play. Then at night Mommy tucks me into bed, whispers loving words into my ear, and sings me a lullaby.
There is no Daddy. It's like he never existed.
It's always just me and Mommy.
Me and Mommy.
Me and Mommy.
The sun drips into the horizon splashing colors of yellow, brown, molten orange with fragmented hints of pink. The assortment of colors fill my gaze and I close my eyes as a gust of cool wind blows tendrils of black from my cheeks. Mommy stands behind me, pushing me on the tire swing. She sings to me.
Softly.
Sweetly.
“Little bird, little bird, spread your wings and fly. Little bird, little bird soar through the sky.” Her voice is warm and harmonious as it flits through the air. The sound of it brings me so much joy.
“Mommy,” I giggle with a grin and glance at her over my shoulder.
She smiles back at me. The smile touches her violet eyes, and there's a flush of pink in her pale cheeks. “I will always love you, little bird. You know that, don't you?”
“Of course. I love you too, Mommy.”
“I have to go, little bird. Be good now.”
I frown and tears spring to my child-like eyes. “No Mommy! Don't leave me!”
Mommy doesn't listen. Her smile twists from a happy one to a sad one as she backs away from me. “Be good, little bird, be good.”