“So where is it then?”
“The basement.”
I lift an eyebrow. “The basement?”
“Yeah. That's what I just said, the basement.”
“Well, what goes on down there?” That's something I've always wondered about. I've seen unruly patients being taken down there, but I never really knew what they were being taken down there for.
Aurora sticks her tongue out and scribbles with an orange crayon. “Trust me, you don't want to know.”
“I do, though.”
“No you don't.” Aurora chucks the orange crayon at the table and stares at me deadpan. “But, I can tell you this; once they take you down there,” she exhales and looks out the large rectangular window behind her, “well, I haven't known anyone that's come back the same.”
Chapter Thirteen
~After~
I wait.
For an answer.
To find out about my future.
The stunningly handsome Dr. Watson hasn't returned to my room. His muffled voice mixed in with the police officers muffled voices faded out hours ago. A wide range of emotion has been running through me ever since.
There's fear.
Confusion.
Anger.
The uncertainty of my situation gnaws at me. In some moments it feels like a pair of teeth are ripping into my stomach and clamping down before they tear away the lining and I'm left alone. I'm open, exposed, and hemorrhaging from the inside out.
I hate not knowing what's going to happen to me. As I sit here and wait, a dozen possible scenarios flash through my mind.
What if...
What if...
What if they let me remain in the hospital until I'm healed then haul me back to Oakhill? What if they take me now? Or what if there is some sort of protocol they have to follow first?
No matter which way I look at it, there is no happy ending for me. I'll wind up, tortured, lost and empty. The biggest disappointment is that I had hope. I had it, believed in it, and cradled it in my arms like a swaddling newborn. I trusted hope with my future and got let down.
I think of Aurora and what she probably sacrificed for my escape. Then I think of how enraged she would be if she saw me being drug back down the darkened halls of Oakhill by two orderlies dressed in white.
I gave you a chance, she'd tell me.
At chance at freedom, she'd tell me.
I imagine the saddened look in her big brown eyes. I imagine the twist of emotion on her child-like face. You know what else she'd tell me. She'd tell me, you had it all, Adelaide, and you blew it.
I've spent so many years loathing myself. Believing everything Daddy ever told me. That I was a waste. A whore. A stupid girl. Even Damien couldn't wash away a lot of the self-hatred I'd built up through the years. I blink back tears and drop my gaze to my hands when I think of him. The tubes connected to my arms blur in and out of my vision and I come to the heart-wrenching realization that it took Damien dying to make me realize that I am not all the things Daddy has led me to believe I am.
I am smart.
I am strong.