A caramel macchiato from Starbucks.
A bottle of water for later.
Some snacks.
An iPod full of sweet tunes. A few twisted thoughts. Not to mention a broken heart. All of which will accompany me while I drive.
All of which will accompany me while I travel on the long road home.
Chapter Two
Sometimes I drive in silence.
Sometimes, I allow the heavy, hanging air of quiet to swell inside of me and bring me peace.
A sense of serenity.
A moment of transcendent calm where I can almost let go of the wheel, extend my arms, cup the wind in my palms, and feel safe.
Even free.
Then…
There are other times.
There are times where I crank up the volume on my iPod, let the music blare, and I drive, and drive, and drive as the haunting melody of the song works its way through my body, infecting every part of me until it reaches the core of my soul.
Today is one of those days.
I’ve been on the road for six hours.
White clouds of snow waft down from the heavens in big, fluffy flakes and the tarred road in front of me is wet with slush. The highway is half empty. There are only a few cars, littering lanes to my right and left.
I am thankful for this.
When there is a lot of traffic I tend to tense up.
Feel nervous.
Uneasy.
Too focused and unable to concentrate on anything, but the yellow lines blurring together in front of me. Especially in the snow. But today the nearly vacant lanes bring me the distraction I so desperately need.
Thinking of that couple in the coffee shop earlier has me in a blunder of emotional turmoil. It has put my mind in a whirl of dirty, tainted thoughts, haunting horrifying images, and lust-filled voices that even Adele belting out Someone Like You at the maximum volume on my stereo can’t seem to drown out.
Their hushed, raspy voices flood my ears.
Shhh.
Beat against my eardrums.
She’ll never find out.
Throb in my temples.
Just touch me. Please.
Wash over every part of me like the tide, but lingering mostly in my mind, a haunting echo that never dies.