Her face lights up as she takes a seat and the sight of it brings tears to my eyes. She launches into the details of what she’s studying in college, how many boys she’s dated, the places she’s visited on vacation…
Before I realize it, hours have passed by and Willow is staring at the clock hanging above my door. “I’ve got to get going,” she says, rising from my cot.
I stand too and pull her into a tight hug. This moment is too short-lived. I feel like we need more time together. I feel like I need to make up for everything I’ve missed out on. “It was nice to finally meet you,” I say, thumbing tears out of my eyes.
Willow eyes are watering too and she laughs. “You’re saying goodbye like this is the last time I’ll ever see you.” She tilts her head back for a second and sighs. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll be back.”
I am elated that she called me mom instead of Adelaide.
I want to clap.
Squeal.
Jump for joy.
“You will?” Hope blossoms inside of my chest like a beautiful, red rose in the spring. “You’ll come visit again?”
“Absolutely,” she says with enthusiasm. “We have an entire lifetime to catch up on.”
I have something to look forward to and that is a beautiful feeling. “Enjoy the rest of your day,” I tell her as I place a kiss on her cheek. Then I show her out of my cell and close the door behind her.
I am reminded of what it feels like to have a purpose again.
I don’t feel like a shell anymore.
I feel somewhat wholesome and complete.
And I know that if I die tomorrow, I can die happy.
Chapter Twenty Four
The road called life is long and winding.
There are curves.
Bumps along the way.
And sometimes…
Sometimes you’re speeding through it, missing the signs and by the time you reach the end of it you have thoughts, recollections, and moments where you realize you haven’t really lived.
And that’s the thing about life.
It goes by way too fast.
At least mine did.
I’m in the bathroom at Oak Hill surrounded by crème tiles that are smathered by a thin layer of brown mold. A set of violet eyes stare back at me through the bathroom mirror. The dark circles underneath them have vanished. My skin looks tight and smooth. My face is fuller and there is a hint of pink in my ivory cheeks.
I look youthful.
I feel rejuvenated.
My eyes drop for a second and I notice that I’m still wearing my hospital gown.
A loud bang outside the door distracts me and causes me to abandon my image observation.
Tucking my hair behind my ears, I walk to the door and open it. I step out into the hall and watch two orderlies, dressed in white as they wheel my body down the corridor. Then my attention shifts when I see Willow, trailing behind them with flushed cheeks and eyes full of tears.