“Believe it or not, yes. Shred was talented when it came to playing the guitar. All of these stars would hear him play and want him on their tracks. He made a lot of money being a musician.”
“That’s good then, right?”
“I thought it was, but Shred didn’t. Every time he got turned down and didn’t get a recording contract, he got… mean.”
“Fuck, Junie,” Ben hisses.
“Yeah.”
“Did he hurt you?”
I close my eyes at that question. It’s a simple question, and Ben’s voice is so soft that it should be soothing, but it is really anything but, because the answer isn’t that simple at all. It’s definitely not as simple as I make it.
“Yeah.”
I wait for Ben to come back with the next question. The same one that everyone asks when they hear my story.
Why did you stay?
It’s going to hurt to hear that from him. I could defend myself, tell him I didn’t, tell him that I kept leaving and Shred kept coming after me, begging until I took him back. Then when that stopped working—because I was stupid enough to let it more than a few times—he became more…persuasive. Turns out, a woman will go back every time if the threats are good enough.
Ben surprises me though. He doesn’t ask that question. He doesn’t come at me with judgment. Instead, his hand moves down from my stomach and his fingers hook into the waistband of my panties and he tugs just enough to get my attention.
“What are you doing?” I ask, surprised while looking at him and thinking I’m going to see disgust, but I don’t see anything but… Ben.
“Showing you that not all men hurt, Junie, even when they can be dickheads,” he responds, and his fingers slide deeper into my panties and graze against my clit.
I keep my gaze on Ben completely in shock with uncertainty flooding through me.
Ben
The sadness in her voice and on her face undoes me. I shouldn’t have pushed her to tell me about what keeps her from sleeping. Jesus she’s been through enough. This is probably the wrong move too, but I want to make Junie feel good. Fuck I want to feel good too. Both of us have had too much shit for way too long—her more than me. If we can find pleasure with each other, then why in the fuck shouldn’t we? We’re adults. We’ve definitely been through enough shit that we know the score and damn it, I want her, and I think she wants me too. If she puts a stop to this, then so be it, but if I don’t make this move, I know I’ll regret it.
“Tell me to stop if you don’t want this, Junie,” I tell her, giving her the option. I want this to be about pleasure, nothing but pleasure.
“I’m not sure what I’m ready for. I mean, I want this, Ben, I swear. But the memories…”
“We’ll go as slow as you want, Junie, and I’ll quit the minute you tell me to,” I assure her, waiting to see what she does. I watch her and it feels like I can’t breathe while I pause to see what her move will be.
She looks up at me and fuck, those blue eyes cut through me. They’re so full of emotion, so deep and intense they rob my damn lungs of air. Slowly—so slowly that I’d swear time was coming to a standstill—she lifts her hands and leans up to whisk my shirt over her head. I’ve teased her breasts through her shirt over the last week when we’ve spent time together. But, I haven’t seen them. I always thought I was an ass man, but looking at Junie’s breasts, it’s clear I’m definitely a tit man.
Junie’s are beautiful. Soft round globes the color of peaches and cream, her nipples pebbled, contracted, and a soft rose in color. I let my finger move over the tip, smiling as it moves with my finger and Junie catches her breath.
“Ben.”
I look up at Junie and smile at her. I’m dying to kiss her, but I don’t want to do anything to stir those memories she has trapped in that quick-witted brain of hers.
I bend deeper and run the tip of my tongue following the same path my finger just took. Junie’s skin tastes sweet like honey, and I can’t wait to taste the rest of her. I feel her fingers sifting through my hair, and I suck a nipple deeply in my mouth. I’m rewarded with Junie’s groan.
The need to kiss her is so fucking strong. When I finally get to put my lips on hers, I won’t let her come up for air. To distract myself, I kiss a path down her stomach, worshipping her body. How anyone could take pleasure in hurting Junie boggles my mind. I’ve been a cop for a while, I know there are fucked up people out there, but you would think a man who had been blessed with the love of a good woman would do nothing but appreciate it.