If I Can't Have You

Whit looks at me and laughs off her previous comment. “Uh... I just heard how you saved Robin’s life once.” I relax and slouch. The last thing I want is for Drake to know exactly how long and how often I’ve obsessed over him. “And thank God you did,” Whit goes on. “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost my best friend in the entire universe.”

Drake crooks me a devilish yet swoon-worthy grin and my stomach ties itself in knots at the sight of it. “Your friend is pretty stubborn.” He keeps his gaze on me. “She doesn’t like to read the signs on the beach.”

“That’s Robs, for ya. She marches to the beat of her own drum.”

Elliot’s lips part and he smiles softly. “That’s good to know.”

Drake gives Elliot a hard look. “Yeah,” he repeats robotically. “Good to know.” Then his gray-blue eyes break away from Elliot and focus on me. “Kid, what do you say you come with me and we’ll get you another drink?” Drake laces his fingers through mine and he takes a step forward.

Elliot grasps Drake’s elbow and eyes him warily. Concern flashes in Elliot’s matching steel-blue eyes. “Bro, do you think that’s a good idea?” Elliot gives me a worried look. “She looks like she’s already feeling the two cups she chugged.”

Elliot is right. I am totally feeling the cups I chugged. My lips are working their way from tingly to numb and my cheeks feel hot and flushed. Plus I’m in a slap-happy mood—which only happens when I’ve acquired a buzz. Drake frowns at Elliot and rolls his shoulder, knocking Elliot’s hand off his elbow. “Mind your own business, bro.”

Then Drake and I disappear into the crowd.

In the kitchen, Drake hands me another cup full of beer and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m standing in a room across from the guy I’ve been crushing on for what feels like forever. And from the way he’s staring back at me, it knocks the wind out of my lungs when I think he might feel the same way.

There are so many questions I want to ask him. There are so many things about him that I want to know. And now that I’ve had a few drinks, it seems like I’ve finally worked up the courage to find out some of those things and ask some of those questions.

The loud incessant chatter in the kitchen of the frat house swallows us. A few of the guys from the frat whom Drake introduced me to a little while ago are doing keg stands. A ruckus of cheers and jeers sound off and I have to lean close to Drake’s ear to ask him, “So what happened between you and Sydney?”

He puffs out his bottom lip, shrugs, and leans close to my hair. “She’s studying abroad for college and we both decided that it would be better if we took a break while she was away.”

There’s a moment where I’m staring at him intensely and wondering if he’s telling me the truth. Guys, especially guys who look like Drake seem to have a way getting girls like me to believe whatever they want us to. I narrow my eyes, staring so intensely, and so close to his face that I can make out every portion on his flawless face. And he’s staring back at me with such a sincere look I know there is no way he can be lying.

“Do you miss her?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Truth?” I nod. “Yes and no. I loved Sydney, don’t get me wrong, but it’s nice to break away from that, you know? It’s nice to be free to do what I want for a change without having to check in with my other half.”

I laugh and take a swig from my cup. “I can see the appeal.”

He eyes flash to the floor then back up at me. “Yeah. And it’s nice to be able to act on impulses that I’ve had for a while.”

I furrow my brows. “What do you mean?”

His lips are so close to my ear that I can practically feel them brushing against the lower lobe. “You know what I mean.”

And before I can react he’s kissing me. Kissing me fast. Kissing me hard. He’s breathing heavy and his breath tastes sweet like honey and whipped cream. Then there’s an explosion in my mouth. A bomb has just gone off inside of me and I have a sulfur aftertaste resting on my taste buds. His tongue gently flicks mine and I melt inside. He cups my face and I can feel his hands all over me. I want his hands all over me.

I drop my cup and my beer spills all over the floor. I’m sliding in it and I don’t care. I’m surrounded by a ton of people who are watching my PDA and I don’t care. Every inhibition I’ve ever had slips away from me like filth slopping from the soles of boots. The way I see it; Drake is the male version of Aphrodite and I want him to poison me with his love.

~9~

You take my breath away, only to make my heart beat faster.

~Author Unknown~

Drake leads me through the mass of bodies and we come to a halt in front of Sadie. She’s blocking the back door and cramping up the narrow hall by being there. She smiles at Drake seductively. “Hi Drake.”

At the moment, the only thing I can think about is gouging out her eyes with my fingernails. But Drake gives her an uneasy smile, says, “Hey,” and brushes past her without even giving her a second glance. And a harmonic chorus sounds off inside of me so loud and so beautiful I’m confident that they could be the second coming of Beethoven himself.

Seconds later, we’re out the back door walking onto the almond sand, away from all the party guests. My brain is fuzzy, from Drake’s kiss, from the beer I’d consumed. Fuzzy. Fuzzy. Fuzzy.

I giggle because I’m happy and drunk and Drake who’s slightly ahead of me peaks over his shoulder. “What’s so funny?” he asks, amused.

To be honest, I don’t know. But I don’t tell him that. I don’t want to seem like an idiot. “Nothing.” And I giggle again.

Drake stops walking, faces me, and gives me a quirky grin. “Something is funny,” he assumes. “Is my hair sticking up or something?”