If I Can't Have You

“I know,” she says softly. “But that’s exactly why you should have let me talk. Because I know how much you’ve liked him. I know how you feel about him, Robs.”

“I more than like him, Whit.”

“Oh, no.” Whit stands and shakes her head. “Don’t do this. Do not fall for a guy like him.”

I stand and cross my arms. “What do you mean a guy like him?” It’s too late. I’ve already fallen. In fact I’m buried.

“Just trust me, Robs. He’s not a good guy. He’s an ass.”

“What has gotten into you? How do you know?”

“Because I—.” Whit snaps her head to the left. “Did you hear that?”

I stand and turn around, squinting into the darkness as light brushing noise fills up my ears. “Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“It could be an animal.”

Before I can protest, Whit is on her way over there and I follow her. There’s a row of shrubs on the side of the Marshall’s beach house and the shrubs are moving. I don’t like this scenario one bit. “Whit,” I whine, shuddering on the walk over. “What if it bites?”

Whit flashes me a patronizing look. “We don’t even know if it’s an animal.” She faces forward. “What if it’s a burglar?”

I laugh so hard I snort. “I’ve been vacationing here my whole life and there has never once been a robbery.”

Whit and I get closer to the shrub and I find her arm in the darkness. I stay a step behind her as she pushes away the shrubs and then I notice two sets of feet. “Son of a bitch!” Whit shouts.

I push her out of the way and glare down, mouth open, heart beating rapidly as I take in the sight of Drake and Sadie both naked, mouths smashed together in a passionate lip lock, and limbs tangled in the mess of shrubbery.

And that’s when my heart falls out of its cavity and plummets into the pit of my stomach.

~15~

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown~

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.

Pain snakes through my chest and circulates through my entire body.

Drake pushes himself away from Sadie and scrambles to get his clothes on. There’s panic in his eyes and he’s hopping on one leg as he puts each foot through his board shorts.

The pain inside of me intensifies and throbs all over and I’m certain that at any second it will kill me.

I’ve never felt so betrayed. Never felt so hurt and useless. I can’t handle this. Seeing him and her like together in that way. My ex friend and the boy I’ve pined for, for like ever, hooking up. This is too much. Too hard. Too agonizing.

Drake never asked me to be exclusive. To be his girlfriend, but he made me think that’s where our time together was heading. By his comments. His actions.

Robin, my beautiful singing bird.

Fuck that. And fuck him.

All I want to do is run. Run fast. And run as far away from Drake as I can. So that’s exactly what I do. I take off running.

“Kid, wait!” Drake calls.

I don’t want to listen to him. I don’t want to be near him. I want to go home and forget this vacation. I want to forget Paradise.

This place isn’t Paradise, it’s a shit hole.