If I Can't Have You

****

Elliot comes by later and I let him and Whit talk me into going sailing. Seconds after stepping foot on the boat I instantly regret that decision. The small boat rocks back and forth being tossed around on the waves like a beach ball. The choppy waters don’t agree with me. My head is spinning and stomach is in knots and I spend a good portion of the day that supposed to be fun-filled hanging over the side of the boat, trying to prevent myself from throwing up.

“You okay over there!” I hear Elliot shout from somewhere behind me. His shout is faint though. It’s nearly impossible to hear anything over the sound of the forceful, blowing wind and the bottom of the boat slapping against the water.

“Ugh,” I manage a moan and raise my hand. I can’t turn around. That might be the one movement from that will lead to the interior floor of the boat being decorated with my vomit.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Whit in front of me. She’s sitting Indian style in the front of the boat and seems to be enjoying herself. Her head is tilted back slightly, her eyes closed, and she lets out a sigh of relief. A small smile stretches across my lips and I’m happy she’s feeling better. Just then the boat hits a wave and at that point I can’t hold it back anymore. I upchuck over the side of the boat and give the fish some fish food.

We don’t get back until sunset and I know now more than ever that I don’t have sea legs. As I try to get off the boat my stomach bottoms out and my knees buckle. Elliot catches me by the waist and hesitates a moment, keeping his masculine hands firmly above my hip bones. “Easy, there sailor.”

Sailor? Now I know he has to be joking.

Whit laces her arm through mine and I stretch my forearm over her shoulder. “I’ve got it from here, Elliot,” she assures him.

Elliot backs away, but as we start walking away from him he jogs back over. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I groan still queasy.

“You guys doing anything later?”

“No plans as of yet,” Whit comments.

“Well, there’s another party tonight. I was hoping to see you guys there.”

“As long as there won’t be any boat rides at this party I’m in,” I say.

Elliot laughs momentarily, but keeps a wide grin on his lips. “I promise no boat rides.”

“We’ll be there,” Whit retorts.

Elliot chews his bottom lip. His full, pouty sexy bottom lip. “Good. The party starts at 10:00pm. It’s at the same spot the last one was at. Do you need directions again?”

“Nah,” Whit says. “It’s probably still saved in the GPS.” She turns to look at me. “Right, Robs?”

I nod.

Then Elliot turns and walks away and I’m left sick and puzzled.

Sick because I’m not sure if my stomach will ever get used to the sturdiness of dry land and puzzled because I swear when Elliot invited us to the party my heartbeat actually picked up and started racing.

~20~

When you touched me your fingers danced across my skin and at the same time, spoke to my soul.

We pull up in front of the frat house and Whit pulls down the passenger side mirror to check her lip gloss. Me? I’m staring at the crowded front yard wondering if this was such a good idea. I know I’ll see Drake here. He’s officially number one on my guys-I’ll-loathe-eternally list.

Actually he’s the only guy on that list.

Questions pound into my brain and throb in my temples. What will I do if I see him? I’m torn on whether I’ll be a mega a bitch or wind up stalking off to a remote area trying to hold back my tears.

Whit pushes the mirror back up and nods toward the window. “You ready?” She opens her door. “Don’t worry if he says anything else to you, I’ll hold him down so you can kick him in the nads.”

I laugh and get out of the car. Whit’s always got a quick-witted sarcastic comeback line ready to throw out and this one in particular makes me feel at ease.

As we make our way up the driveway Elliot is already heading toward us, but as I peer over his shoulder I see Drake lingering in the background engaged in some conversation with a few overly muscled jock-type guys. His eyes flick toward me for a moment. He smiles and I look away. That smile is a killer and for a second I wish all of his teeth would fall out.

I break away from Whit and Elliot and walk toward the back of the house. I can be at this party and I can enjoy it as long as I don’t have to look at Drake’s beautiful deceitful face. I think.