If I Can't Have You

?t a normal jovial laugh. It’s a laugh that’s laced with a bit of insanity. Maybe Drake has lost a few of his marbles, if not all of them. “Oh, I think you do bro.” I’m taken by surprise next when Drake extends his arms, palms up and shoves Elliot. “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Elliot removes his arm from my shoulder and slides me to the side away from their scuffle that I know is going to going to escalate to the next level any second. Panicked I scan the porch for Whit and she’s on the opposite end shrugging and trying to squeeze through the crowd, but appears that everyone at this party wants to witness a brawl because they’ve all stopped what they’re doing and all eyes are on me Elliot and Drake.

And the only thing I can think about is how I need to get out of here and fast.

All I’ve ever wanted is to feel like I mean something. Like I matter. I also wanted to feel like I’m not being torn. Or feel like Drake is tugging on my right arm, Elliot on my left. Each of them is pulling me in different directions and in seconds one of my limbs is going to snap off. I glance at Elliot, then Drake.

Which way do I go? To the right or to the left? Which one do I choose?

Right now, I’m not sure that I want either one.

Drake cut out my heart, kept it safe for years, then returned to me sliced and diced like minced ham. And even though he hurt me, every time I look at him I can’t help but feel the want for him. The burning desire that ignites inside of me and licks my organs every time he’s near.

And Elliot…

He gives mind-altering kisses, seems to care about my feelings, and assures me he’s nothing like his brother. That he’d never hurt me the way Drake has.

Is it all an act? Or will he hurt me in the end, too?

The possibility of him hurting me is a risk I’m not willing to take.

“You know how I feel!” Drake shrieks as he shoves Elliot a second time.

“I know how you think your ass is made of gold and anybody and everybody should kiss it!” Elliot shoves him back. “And I know how you’ve hurt her! Just like you hurt Sydney!”

Drake’s mouth hangs open and rage burns in his eyes. “You don’t know anything about Sydney!”

A malicious smirk crawls across Elliot’s lips. “I know you cheated on her. But I bet you left that part out.” Elliot’s eyes flash over to mine. “Didn’t he, Robin?”

Before I have a chance to react Drake lunges for Elliot and tackles him and the clash of their bodies against the wooden porch rings out in a loud thud. Then there are several guys pushing through the crowd, making their way toward Drake and Elliot.

A hand clamps down on my arm and I’m being pulled backward away from the chaos and I smack into several bodies along the way.

I can’t take my eyes off Elliot as he and Drake are pulled a part. He stands slowly, adjusts his jaw and scowls at Drake who is thrashing beneath a heavy-set guy’s tree trunk arms.

This is all a little crazy. And un-nerving. And horrifying yet completely amazing. I’ve never had anyone fight over me. Well, I take that back. Whit got in a fight with Daria Jarvis is the fourth grade because she called me a dork. That was during my awkward stage where I wore huge tortoise shell glasses that were like mini saucers and a palette expander. Eek! I shudder when I think of that old yearbook picture.

Not one guy has ever gotten into a fight over me. Now two did and to make things ever more complicated I’m not even really sure why. I mean I know Elliot sort of has a thing for me. But Drake? Really? He flat out told me to my face that he didn’t like me that way. So what’s with all the jealousy?

“What the hell was that?” Whit spats out as we stalk toward the car.

“Honestly, I don’t have a clue,” I tell her. That’s the honest-to-God truth. In a way I’m just as baffled by the Robertson brother’s battle royale as she is.

“Well,” she begins, “I’m going to go ahead and assume that it had something to do with you.” She shoots me an accusing glance.

“I just don’t get it, Whit. Drake told me he didn’t like me like that. Then he starts a fight with Elliot and I think it’s because Elliot kissed me.” Or maybe there’s more to it that I don’t know.

“Wait a second.” Whit stops dead in her tracks and grabs me by the arm. “You kissed Elliot? Where? And when were you going to fill me in on this information?”

“I swear I was going to tell you as soon as I came back from the beach.” I think. At the time I wasn’t interested in spilling the deets involving my mind-numbing kiss. The only thing I could think of was getting as far away from Elliot as quickly as I could.

Seriously that kiss scared me. It made me tingle, made my head spin, my heart race and it was screwing with my emotions big time. On top of the kiss, and the fight…

Yeah, I’m still not thinking clearly.

At the car, Whit climbs into the passenger seat and as I open my door I hear my name. “Robin! Robin, wait!” Peering over my shoulder I see Drake running toward me and a nausea feeling slaps against the walls of my stomach. I don’t feel like talking to him. Too much has happened and He’s broken my trust. I get into the driver’s side and start the car. Drake comes to a halt at my window and places his palms on the glass. “Robin, please. I know I don’t deserve your time, but just hear me out.” His voice is muffled, hidden behind a thin pane of glass.

He’s right he doesn’t deserve my time. “Drake, I don’t want to talk to you.”