If I Can't Have You

“No, Whit. Of course not. You know me, I may do other reckless things, but that’s not one of them.” It’s not that I’m saving myself for marriage or anything. I guess I’m just saving myself for the right moment and for the right person. It’s funny to me how I started out the vacation thinking that Drake might be that right person. How wrong was I?

“You know what, Robin?”

Whit stands and I sit upright. “What?”

“You know how much I despise Drake for the way he hurt you. But I think you owe it to yourself to talk to him one last time.”

What in God’s name is she smoking? “Have you lost your effing mind?”

“No,” Whit says placing her hands on her hips. “Actually I’m being logical. You can sit here and tell me you’re over him all you want, but I saw you last night when he and Elliot were fighting over you. I saw the look in your eye. You still wanted him.”

“I did not!”

Whit lowers her head and slits her eyes. “You didn’t have a mirror. You didn’t see the look on your face. I did. I know that look. I gave Bobby Coulsen plenty of those looks. You need to talk to him. When you’re with him you’ll know for sure whether you’re over him or not.”

“Are you smoking crack?”

Whit laughs and shakes her head, lingering in the doorway. “Trust me, Robs. I know what I’m talking about. You need to have closure involving the Drake situation because If you still feel something for Drake there’s no point in starting up anything with Elliot because the only thing you’re going to do is hurt him.” Whit walks out the door and leav

es me alone in the bedroom to drown in my own thoughts.

I know she was only saying that stuff about Drake because she cares and she wants me to be sure that I’m making the right decision in wanting to be with Elliot or start up a relationship with him. But there is one thing I’m one hundred percent certain of; I am not going to seek him and talk to him because there’s a questioning part of me that keeps asking; what if she’s right?

What if Whit’s right?

That question is too powerful and too frightening to even think about, so I tuck it into a corner of my brain and tell myself that even if I do see Drake tonight I am going to avoid him like the plague.

~25~

Until you are broken, you don’t know what you’re made of.

~Author Unknown~

Sadie leans against the bedroom door and shakes her head and she watches Whit straighten the same piece of her hair for what seems to be the twentieth time in a row. I sit on the bed. I’ve been ready for the last hour. Sadie glances at me. “Does she always take this long?”

I laugh. “This is nothing.”

Whit’s eyes shift between me and Sadie as she watches us through the mirror. “I can hear you guys,” she mutters, putting on her lip gloss.

“She’s started the lip gloss,” I comment to Sadie. “Don’t worry she’ll only be another twenty minutes.”

Whit unzips her makeup bag and throws her lip gloss in it. “No, I won’t I’m done.”

Sadie lets out a breath and I stand. Whit picks her purse up from off the floor and shoves her makeup bag inside. “Don’t you two know that the beautification process takes time?”

“An hour or two, yes,” I say. “Not half of the day.”

Whit huffs and slings her purse over her shoulder.

The three of us pile into my parent’s car. They went to the fair too, but left early and rode with Sadie’s parents so that we could use the car. The Fourth of July Festival is only a few miles away and mom left me directions on the counter so I made sure to grab those before heading out the door.

It only takes fifteen minutes to drive there. We park the car, I hit the lock button, and double-check all the doors, then Sadie, Whit, and I walk to the entrance.

There’s a huge red, white, and blue banner hanging from two metal poles that reads: Happy Fourth of July. And the tiny fair that only consists of some food booths, a bouncy house for kids, pony rides, and a few games is packed full of what I assume to be townspeople and tourists.

Sadie snags a flier off a table next to the entrance as we walk through and holds it up. “Ohh! Fireworks tonight!”

“Fun,” I say.