I sit in front of the house, playing with my fingers, tapping my foot against the floor of the car, and try to talk myself into turning the car around and driving back to the beach house. As much as it’s going to kill me, I know I can’t chicken out. I need to see him again.
Even if this will be the last time.
I know we’re going to the same college in the fall, but the chances of me actually seeing him on campus is slim. The campus is huge and I seriously doubt we’ll have any of the same classes. So, I get out of the car, stroll up the walkway, and slam my fist into the screen door.
A minute later, I recognize the dark-haired guy Whit was talking to the other night when he opens the door. “Hi,” he says greeting me with a smile.
“Hi,” I reply, my voice shaky. “Is Elliot here?”
The echo of footsteps sounds off and the guy looks over his shoulder. “Yo, Drake! Is your bro here?”
Every limb on my body stiffens when the guy says “Drake.” When I left him at the fair yesterday I told him I wanted Elliot and ran off. This is going to be an uncomfortable situation.
Drake comes to the door, takes one look at me and nudges the guy at the door in the shoulder. “I’ll take it from here, man.” The guy steps aside and Drake opens the screen and steps outside. “Hi, kid.”
I take a deep breath, relax my shoulders and ask, “Where’s Elliot?”
Drake shrugs. “Hell if I know. He didn’t come home last night.”
This is turning out to be the worst day of my life. “Will you do me a favor?” Honestly, I don’t expect him to say yes and he’s giving me an awkward glance that makes me want curl up into a hole and bury myself.
At one point, all I’d ever wanted was for Drake to want me the way I wanted him. And it’s weird to me how attraction works. It’s like that song; You Can’t Always Get What You Want. You can tell yourself when you want something, but most times it doesn’t always work out that way.
“Sure, kid,” Drake says, pulling me out of my reverie.
My eyes find his and I see a flash of pain in his pools of blue and it tears me apart that I’m the one inflicting that pain. I lower my gaze and stare at my feet. “Can you please tell Elliot I came looking for him?”
“Sure.” His voice cracks and he clears his throat. “I’ll tell him.”
I linger on the porch for another minute. “Thanks.” Then I pivot on my heel and walk down the porch steps.
Halfway to my car, Drake shouts, “Hey, Robin!”
I spin around and he’s standing on the edge of the porch. “What’s up?”
Drake steps down a few steps. “Give him time. Elliot can be a stubborn ass sometimes, but he’ll come around.”
A soft smile curls on my lips. “Thanks. That’s good to know.”
Drake is wearing a set of brown swim trunks. He shoves his fists into his pockets and throws his shoulders back. “Besides, he’d be an idiot if he let you slip through his fingers.” He smiles, a smile full of regret.
“Thanks, Drake.” I wait for a moment, watching as he turns around, going back into the house before walking the rest of the way to the car.
In the driver’s seat I pause before starting the car. A deep, stabbing pain resurfaces. It punctures my side and intensifies and I wrap both of my arms around my sides, praying that the pain will die down soon. Drake’s words replay in my mind; he’ll come around. I hope he’s right because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to live like this. Without Elliot I wonder if I’ll always feel like a part of me is missing.
And I wonder how long it will take for me to feel whole again.
~28~
Three Months Later
Sometimes life leaves us no choice but to move on from the people we love but that does not mean we stop loving, caring, and missing them. ~Author Unkown~
I’m buried in a stack of books when Whit parades through the door of our dorm. I’ve got an open can of red bull to my left and as she closes the door behind her I pick up the can and take a swig from it.
“Are you seriously still up?”
I avert my attention to Whit. Yesterday’s makeup is smudged all over her face, her clothe