Secret Warriors (Men at War 2)

"I could teach that," Fulmar said.

"I could teach a lot of interesting Errol Flynn-type things. You'd be surprised how good the Berbers are at cutting throats."

"I suppose you could," Canidy said, 'but as I'm sure you have already figured out for yourself, there is some question whose side you are on in this war. "You don't believe that, do you?" Fulmar said. "It doesn't matter what I believe," Canidy said. "Well, do you or don't you, goddamn it?"

"No, I don't," Canidy said.

"But right now, my opinion doesn't count for a whole hell of a lot around here."

"Well, what do they want with me? Since they don't trust me?" Canidy wanted to avoid answering that.

"You can't blame them, Eric," he said, "for wondering."

"Wondering what?"

"For Christ's sake, figure it out yourself. You didn't want to come to this country."

"Bullshit!" Fulmar flared.

"You were with me in that god damned boat. I didn't ask to get left behind over there. I was prepared to kill to get on that god damned submarine, and you know it."

"I mean the second chance you were offered," Canidy said. "What second chance?"

"You know damned well what I mean," Canidy said.

"You had to be tied up and smuggled to Gibraltar because you wouldn't come voluntarily."

"Who told you that?"

"Baker," Canidy said. "Shit!" Fulmar said.

"It hasn't occurred to you that He's a lying bastard?" Canidy was on a spot, and quickly moved to get off it.

"And people have wondered why, since you've been here, you have made no attempt to get in touch with your mother."

""Hi, Mom, I'm in the loony bin at Fort Knox'?" Fulmar said mockingly.

"Is that the reason?"

"You know the reason," Eric said.

"You and Jimmy. My mother doesn't give a shit for me and never has.

If that question came up, one of you should have said something."

"You never tried to get in touch with my father, either," Canidy said.

""Hi, Dr. Canidy! Guess where I am, Dr. Canidy?" A "Okay," Canidy said.

"But you can't tell me what's going on, right? Or you won't."

"I can't," Canidy said. "You know, for years I always talked myself into thinking, so what that my mother doesn't even want people to know I exist, and so what that my father made it pretty clear the big mistake of his life was not using a rubber when he screwed my mother.

I've got another kind of family, I've got Sidi el Ferruch, and back in the States are my asshole buddies, Dick and Jimmy, and your good father. So what happens? The first chance el Ferruch gets, he sells me to that fucking Baker. And when I finally get together with you two, Jimmy acts like I have a swastika tattooed on the head of my pecker, and you're not one fucking bit better; and I can't even call Father Canidy, because if I do, I'd have to tell him I can't come to see him, because you've got me locked up. He's the only person in the world who's ever given a shit about me, and I'm not going to have him worrying about me, or let him know what a prick his son is. "Jesus Christ!" Canidy said. "Fuck you, Canidy!" Fulmar said, and Ann saw tears running down his face as he glowered angrily at Canidy. "You know a German officer named Helm ut von Heurten-Mitnitz, I understand," Canidy said. "Yeah, I know him. He's just like you, Canidy. Two peas out of a pod. If Baker hadn't beat him to it, he would have had me tied up and sent to Germany. They would trust me there about as far as I'm trusted here."

"Now, get your fucking emotions under control and think it over carefully before you answer me. From what you know of this guy, would he be useful to us?"

"No," Fulmar said after a long pause.