Her cries are like music to my ears. I smile. The colors swirl once more as I watch the woman who made Pike’s life a living hell cry out in agony.
“Goodbye, mother,” Pike tells her.
“Bad mommies, and bad daddies, all deserve to die. Happy Molly and happy Pike listen to you cry.”
Her eyes are trained on me as Pike delivers the last droplets onto her lap. She’s foaming at the mouth, but I know she can hear me. I pick up my own glass, filled with golden bubbly liquid and drink it slowly, savoring the champagne alongside my husband.
“Well, baby girl,” Pike smiles, wrapping an arm around me. “It’s time for us to live our lives now. As husband and wife.” He leans in, planting a kiss on my lips.
“I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too, Sweet Molls.”
The Letter
Molly
When I turned eighteen, Pike and I had been together for two long years. All those months living away from my family had given me a calm I’d never known. Even though he was always there to hold me when I needed it, I knew I could never tell Pike about my past. The part of me he didn’t see.
We all have demons. Some are merely in our minds. Others… well, those that are real haunt you far longer than a few bad dreams. When I laid awake at night, the only thing that kept the monsters at bay was Pike’s strong arms around me. I knew if he were to ever not be around, they’d find me. They’d hurt me more because I ran away.
And I could never let that happen.
I still woke up with nightmares.
I still believed I wasn’t free.
So, on my eighteenth birthday, I spent the night sitting at the window, watching the couple across the way fuck. I was huddled in Pike’s chair when I wrote a letter to him. I made sure to tell him everything, not leaving a single detail out.
Dear Pike,
I don’t know why I’m writing this because if you ever knew what this contains, you’d run a mile away, probably more. Since the first moment I saw you, I knew I’d love you forever. I was only a child, seven years old, with no idea what love was, but when you looked at me with your big blue eyes, I figured you’d be my happily ever after.
But since that moment to this one, so much has happened. Yes, you’re here, asleep in the bed we now share, but you have no idea what it took for me to be here. You never saw the horrors that happened to me when you weren’t at my house.
Father, Uncle Waylon, and Uncle Greg, they’re all bad men. They broke me, Pike. And I don’t know if I’ll ever get fixed. Sometimes, even when we’re together, I don’t know how to be me because my mind is no longer mine. They stole it, along with everything I held close.
I held onto the rock you gave me after you’d killed the bug. I closed my eyes and went to the dark place. They did it to me over and over again. The pain was excruciating. There was blood everywhere.
I begged.
I pleaded.
I cried and screamed.
My mother stood by, watching, telling me I was a bad girl for making them do those things. And all the while it happened, you were my salvation in the darkness.
They stole everything, they broke and tore me apart, but they could never take my heart. That belonged to you. Each night, each day, with every bruise I hid from you, I prayed you’d never know what I’d had to endure because I knew that if you found out, you’d do something stupid.
Funny how the only thing I wanted to do since the first time, to now, is keep you safe. After I’d lost everything, lying in the blood drenched sheets, I wished you’d steal me away.
It started with my father, then Uncle Waylon, and finally your father. My heart still aches when I recall how we were never normal kids, growing up with so much money, but we had nothing.
No love.
No affection.
And when we were offered attention, it was violent.
Pike, I’m writing this letter to tell you how loved you are. How, all those times they came into my room and held me down, they threatened to do the same to you. And I cried and told them I was the one they should do this to because I was bad and deserved it. Only, they didn’t know you’d already had me. You’d been the one I could give it to, and that’s something they could never take from me. You were my first everything—love, kiss, and fuck. And that’s something I can happily say I’m thankful for. I chose to give it.
In my mind, if I could keep them away from you, at least one of us would be okay. I believed it then, and I believe it now. Don’t hate me for making the choice. Don’t be angry at me for saving you. Just remember, you are loved by me.