“You agree?”
God, if he puts his hand on my shoulder, if he touches me, I don’t know what I’ll do.
“Matt . . .”
Matt pushed himself away from the door far enough so that he could reach her right shoulder with the balls of his fingers.
“Matt, I don’t want to kiss you, I’m not going—”
And then she was on his side of the Porsche, the gearshift jabbing her painfully in the back. She was breathing heavily, looking up at him, seeing that his face was really smeared with her lipstick.
“Well,” Matt said. “Now we know, don’t we?”
“The gearshift,” Susan said.
“Oh! Sorry!” he said, and she was aware they had moved on the seat, and that they were now close enough to conduct the experiment again.
And she became aware that his hand was under her blouse.
Why don’t I slap his face, or at least push his hand away?
“Don’t,” she ordered, and heard in her voice that it was a lie.
He kissed her again.
I’ve got to stop this! Why don’t I just push him away?
And then she was looking at his face again, aware that she was breathing heavily. And then she was horrified to hear herself challenging, bitchily, “Well, you seem to have recovered very well from your tragic loss of Penny, haven’t you?”
“I’ve thought about that,” he replied immediately, matter-of-factly.
God, was he thinking about that, too?
“I don’t think I ever loved Penny. She needed me. She was really fucked up. I got sucked into that. It was the, quote, decent, unquote, thing to do. Doing the right thing keeps getting me in trouble.”
What did he say? “She needed me. She was really fucked up. I got sucked into that”?
He looked down at her again.
“Don’t be a bitch, Susan.”
“Sorry,” she heard herself say, and that sounded very honest to her ears.
He kissed her again, and this time she became aware that the hand that had been on her breast was now between her legs.
Oh, God, I’m all wet! He’ll know!
She freed herself violently, and sat erect in her seat and put her clothes in order.
My bra is loose. Did he unfasten it?
“I am not going to do this in a car,” she said righteously.
“Sorry, I got carried away,” he said.
That sounded sincere.
> Matt opened his door and got out of the car.