The Hostage (Presidential Agent 2)

"Anyway, no problems that I can see. It's right down the street from the Casa Rosada. The cops around here have a lot of experience dealing with angry mobs, and they keep a cache of barriers handy. Munz offered a helicopter to fly the family from the racetrack-the Jockey Club-in San Isidro. After they put the barriers up, there's room to sit one down. But I turned him down."

"May I ask why, sir?"

"Two reasons-and you may ask me anything you want to, Wiener schnitzel. The first is-I thought you knew this-that I am one of the best-if not the best- chopper pilots in the world, and I don't trust any other chopper jockey unless I've flown with him-"

"Jesus, Charley!"

"I guess no one can hear this conversation?"

"No. I'm in the kitchen, having a cup of coffee."

"In that case, can we dispense with the Wiener schnitzel nonsense and come right out with 'I love you, Charley'?"

"You said there were two reasons, sir?"

"And I'll tell you the other one if you tel

l me you love me."

Betty hesitated a moment, and then said, chuckling, "Wiener schnitzel, okay?"

"Close enough. Okay, what Munz offered was a French Alouette III, the SA 316A. It's an old one. That bothered me, as I don't know what kind of maintenance it gets here. And they replaced the tail and main rotors- they had problems with them not being strong enough-on the B model, and this is the A model."

"You do know about helicopters, don't you?"

"Therefore, Special Agent Wiener schnitzel, after carefully weighing the pros and cons of the matter, I decided it would be more prudent to have the Alouette fly roof cover than to utilize it for personnel transport."

"You're really hooked on that Wiener schnitzel nonsense, aren't you? And what's roof cover?"

"First of all, it's not nonsense, and second, you might say that I'm in love with Wiener schnitzel. And roof cover, Special Agent Wiener schnitzel, is when a rotary wing aircraft flies low over an urban area, carefully observingrooftops to make sure there are no bad guys with sniper rifles, mortars, or other lethal weaponry on them."

"And he's going to do that? Colonel Munz?"

"Yeah. And this way, the Frog bird will also be available as emergency transport if we need it."

"You think that's liable to happen?"

"No. I don't. The cathedral looks as safe to me as the house. The family will arrive by car, enter the cathedral by a side door, make a brief appearance at the casket, then take seats in an alcove. There's two alcoves, near the altar. The President, probably, and the foreign minister for certain, plus assorted bigwigs, including Ambassador Silvio, will be in the one on the left-on the left, facing the altar-and the family, two guys from SIDE, and you, Special Agent Wiener schnitzel…"

"Enough already with the Wiener schnitzel, Charley."

"… will be in the one on the right. At the appointed hour-ten-the prime minister or the President will approach the casket, drop to his knees for a moment on the prie-dieu-"

"The what?"

"A thing you kneel on. It means pray God in French. I suppose that identifies you as a non-Catholic?"

"I'm Lutheran, as a matter of fact."

"Wonderful. So am I."

"Why do I suspect that if I said I was Catholic, you would have said the same thing."

"I would have, and with a clear conscience. My mother was Evangelische, which is just about the same thing as Lutheran, and until I was twelve, I even went to an Evangelische school. Then I moved to Texas, where my Texican family is all Roman Catholic. I am a multi-faith sinner, in other words. May I continue?"

"You're a lunatic."

"And is that why you Wiener schnitzel me, Special Agent Wiener schnitzel?"