The major then rummaged through Phil’s records.
“I’ll be a EXPLETIVE DELETED!!,” he said softly. “Very interesting,” he went on. “First Sergeant, take PFC Williams to the Education Center and see that he is administered the GED test. When it has been graded, bring him and it to my office.”
“Yes, sir.”
—
Phil had no idea what the GED test was. On the way to the Education Center, the first sergeant told him. GED stood for General Educational Development. It had been developed to see if an individual’s life experiences had given him knowledge equivalent to that of someone who had actually finished high school or gone to college for two years. If one passed the test, the Army considered that the same thing as actually having graduated from high school, or having been exposed to two years of college instruction.
Phil took the test, spending about an hour and a half with it.
“You’re quitting?” the test administrator, a captain, said. “Give it another shot. You have three hours to take it. Don’t give up!”
“Sir, I finished the test.”
The test administrator graded Phil’s GED test.
When he had finished doing so, he said, “I’ll be a EXPLETIVE DELETED!!” and then said, “Congratulations, PFC Williams, you have scored in the ninety-fifth percentile.”
Phil didn’t know what that meant and confessed his ignorance.
“That means you have scored better that ninety-four percent of all others who have taken the test.”
I’ll be damned, Phil thought.
I am now the legal equivalent of a high school graduate!
He was wrong.
This was brought to everyone’s attention ten minutes later when Phil was again standing at Parade Rest before a desk, this time the major’s. The major barely had time to open the envelope containing the Certificate of GED Test Results when the administrator sought and was granted access to the major’s office.
“What?” the major inquired.
“Sir, there’s been a little mix-up,” the administrator said. “We gave PFC Williams the wrong test.”
“How wrong?”
“We gave him the college-level GED test, sir. Not the high school level.”
“A
ccording to this, he scored in the ninety-fifth percentile.”
“Yes, sir. He did. But he wasn’t supposed to take that test. He’ll have to be retested.”
“He scored in the ninety-fifth percentile on the college test and you want him to take the high school test? What the EXPLETIVE DELETED!! is wrong with you? Dismissed!”
The major then turned to PFC Williams.
“Welcome to the Counterintelligence Corps, son,” he said.
So that’s what CIC stands for!
“Thank you, sir.”
“I think you’ll like Fort Holabird,” the major went on. “There’s all sorts of things to do here. We even have a skeet team which competes against other governmental investigative agencies in the Baltimore-Washington area. The first sergeant will show you where the skeet range is on Saturday morning.”
“Sir,” the first sergeant protested, “on Saturday morning, CIC administrators in training have a barracks inspection.”