“Thanks, Piper. Again, you really don’t have to drive me home.” Piper smashed her lips together as she looked at the small, smokey-colored house I now called home. It actually looked bigger than what it was. There were three bedrooms and two tiny bathrooms. My room was the smallest—no surprise there—and my bathroom was, thankfully, only used by me. Jill and Pete used their master bathroom from what I observed. When Ann and I first came to the house, it was sparkling clean, the smell of Pine-Sol wafting throughout. The floors were shiny, and the kitchen counters were wiped off. Pete’s chair was empty as he and Jill answered the door with smiling faces.
But as soon as Ann was gone and we all sat down to eat, they laid down the rules of the house. I was to be quiet, keep my nose out of their business, eat what they gave me, and I was limited to six-minute showers, and I got the laundry machine on Tuesdays and Saturdays. They would not be giving me a phone or an allowance, and no rides, either, unless it was to check in with Ann. If I followed their rules, I could continue staying with them after I turned eighteen and until I went off to college (of course, I’d have to give them the grant I'd apply for with the state or get a job and pay them). Otherwise, I?
?d be thrown out and shit out of luck. If I got thrown out before I was eighteen, I’d go to a group home. And after? I’d be homeless.
I knew they weren’t being nice people by letting me stay until I started college; they just wanted to continue getting extra income. But what choice did I have?
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the party with me? Maybe bring me inside and we could say we’re staying at my house for the weekend?”
The thought made my stomach hurt. I didn’t want to ask Jill and Pete for anything, even staying the night with a friend. If it were just Jill, maybe, but Pete? No way. He was a mega-asshole who liked to control everything.
“You don’t want to go inside there,” I all but whispered, staring at the house. “I’ll see what kind of mood they’re in and ask if I can. But don’t count on it.” Lie. I pulled the door open and began to climb out. “Thanks for inviting me, though.” I smiled. “And the ride. You’re a good friend, Piper.”
And she was. I was just too afraid to get attached.
She smiled brightly, the freckles on her cheeks meeting her eyes. “Email me anyway, okay? Just so I know you’re okay over the weekend.” She glanced back at the house. “I have a feeling you try to make things seem like they’re okay, even when they’re not.”
I stared at her for a beat before giving her another lift of my lips. “I promise I’ll email you later. Have fun at the party.”
She nodded as I closed the door and began walking up the broken concrete steps to the house. Piper was right. I did try to make things seem okay when they weren’t. Which was exactly why I didn’t tell her what happened with Christian earlier.
Something had happened during our five-year hiatus that made him hate me, and it was driving me crazy. The glares he gave me were one thing. His bitchy “non-girlfriend” was another. But taking my food? My only source of nutrition? It was about to be game on. I did nothing to him. Nothing. There was absolutely no reason I deserved to be treated that way.
And yet, I somehow always found myself in this position. Getting shit on by people who thought they were better than me.
So lost in my raging thoughts of Christian, I didn’t realize I was inside the house until Pete barked at me. “What are you doing standing there with the door wide open? Shut the fucking thing.”
I jumped in my skin and shut the door behind me. My pulse was climbing in speed as I rushed past him and to the stairs. Jill bent down and whispered something in Pete’s ear as I turned my head, and then I flinched when I heard skin slap skin. I paused, my hand on the handrail, ready to retreat upstairs.
“You’re a dumb bitch. No, she isn’t getting food tonight. I caught her stealing out of our pantry last night. This is her punishment.”
I spun around slowly and eyed Pete in his white undershirt that was a hair too small. He wore his black pants that still smelled of engine oil from working at the mechanic shop. He looked crazed. Spotting the beer can beside his chair, I clenched my teeth. Pete must be a little heavy into the alcohol. A bead of sweat crawled down his red face. Jill was standing beside him, holding the side of her reddening cheek. There was a fire in her eyes. I recognized that look, but in the end, she kept her mouth shut.
Jill was wearing a pair of light-blue scrubs with her purse draped over her shoulder. My heart studded to a stop. Is she going to work? She was leaving me here with him all night? Alone? Fear was climbing in the back of my throat, but I swallowed it down. You’ve been in worse circumstances. Fear meant weakness, and I had no room to be weak in a life like this.
“Are you going to work?” I asked quietly, still standing by the stairwell.
Jill nodded once. “Sometimes I work the night shift. I’ll be back in the morning.”
I took a deep breath, slowly exhaling so Pete wouldn’t notice and demand I stop breathing his air or something. “Okay,” I answered, turning around to walk upstairs.
Pete yelled from down below, “No dinner tonight, and I’m locking your door at 8pm sharp, so get your business done before then.”
I didn’t answer. Instead, I ran up the stairs and shut the door. I sunk down against the wall and stared at the mattress on the floor with stained sheets from who knew what. I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten.
One, two, three. You’ve been in worse places, Hayley. Suck it up. Four, five, six. Calm your heart. Seven, eight. It was worse when living with Mom. Nine, ten.
Reaching into my backpack, I let out a shaky breath. I heard the door bang against the wall downstairs, and suddenly, I was twelve years old again, sitting in a stairwell on the phone with the police as my father was shot in our living room.
My hands were trembling as I opened up my laptop and the browser. It only took me three seconds to decide I didn’t want to be locked in my room all night to think of things that had no part residing in my brain anymore. Christian included.
Piper emailed me back within minutes.
She’d be here at ten, and all I had to do was figure out how to climb down the side of the house from my window without breaking my neck. But honestly? Would that even have been a bad thing?
Chapter Seven
Hayley