I wasn’t sure if Dawson would look for me at her house or not, but when I heard the pounding on her door a couple hours ago, I instantly knew it was him.
It was almost as if I could sense him, and I would be lying if I said I was upset to see him. It made the last little sliver of my heart that was keeping me alive, happy. I wanted him to fight for me. I wanted him to fix it, but he couldn’t fix what he didn’t even know was broken.
“We cannot let her get away with this! Hell, I’ll pay for Mia’s college. Just tell her to give up her scholarship and transfer. Plus, does bitch-face even really have an ‘in’ with the dean? Like, come on!”
I shrugged, eyeing the open wine bottle on Becca’s table. I hadn’t drank anything. I wanted to. I wanted to guzzle the bottle, maybe even take it to bed with me so that way, when I woke up and realized that this wasn’t an awful dream, I could just drink more. But I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. Like there was a bowling ball lying inside, making me feel heavy and just…sick.
I just felt sick.
Trying to smile at Becca, I said, “You’re a teacher. You’re poorer than I am.”
Her eyes moved to mine and then she chuckled. “You’re right, but Ivy, this isn’t right. We cannot let this happen. There has to be another way. You and Dawson are not breaking up because Breanna’s mom has a hard-on for him.”
“It has nothing to do with Dawson.” I shook my head. “I mean, she said that Breanna would realize that she belonged with him or whatever, but it wasn’t really about her or him. It was about me. It was about my mom, which is ridiculous because my mom is dead! Both of my parents are dead! Why isn’t that enough for her?!”
My lip began to tremble as the waterworks started to whirl.
It wasn’t often that I cried or felt sorry for myself. I knew what real pain was and I knew that crying wouldn’t solve anything but right now, I was feeling pretty fucking sorry for myself.
I was feeling even sorrier for Dawson because the look on his face earlier was the most sickening thing of this entire situation and honestly, I felt a little bad for Mrs. Connors, too, because she was obviously sick in the head.
Okay, I wasn’t really feeling bad for her, but she must lead a pretty terrible life to be this evil.
She was pure evil.
At least now I know where Breanna got it all those years ago. Her mom was probably whispering in her ear at night while she was sleeping ways to make my life a living hell.
Just add Breanna to my list of people to feel sorry for, too.
“We will figure it out, Ivy. Just calm down.”
I shook my head, tears slowly falling down my face. My heart felt like it was gone. I wasn’t even sure how I was still alive.
I felt like the Tin Man.
I watched Dawson pull back and stare at me, jaw clenched tight, working back and forth. His chest lifting and falling fast, hands clenched down by his sides. The more he studied my face, the angrier he became. My heart thrashed in my chest, banging off every single bone in my body. It was begging me to tell him the truth, to work something out.
Just wait for me until Mia is done with school. Pretend to love Breanna when you really love me.
Let’s hit Mrs. Connors with your truck.
Do some work on their roof and accidentally let the entire thing collapse on her.
To be honest, I couldn’t even think straight.
I felt exhausted and overwhelmed.
“Can I just stay here tonight?” I asked Becca, furiously wiping at the tears on my face.
“Of course, Ivy.” She quickly walked over to me, sitting down on the couch, wrapping her warm arms around me.
For a brief second, I thought the one thought that I hadn’t had in a long, long time.
I wish my mom was here.
???
How did I ever survive living without Dawson for six years? It’d been two days and I literally felt like I was missing a freaking limb. We officially had the shortest spurt of love in the entire world.