Nope. Not doing this again.
After moving the chair from underneath my door for when I got home after school, I dashed and grabbed my keys off my desk, along with my backpack, and threw my phone inside with the hopeful thought that Sky would finally text me back with a location to meet. I walked the few feet over to my window and opened it with barely any effort. I popped the screen out and pulled it inside before it fell to the ground below. I breathed in the fresh air for a moment to calm the erratic thoughts going through my head. There. Just breathe.
I pulled my hair to the side as I reminded myself that I’d flown through the air enough times in cheerleading that jumping a few yards below me from the gutter wasn’t going to kill me. After all, I’d done it before, and I’d likely do it again.
As soon as my leg was hitched over the side, I pulled my slender body to the right and inched my other leg out. My arms were shaking, and my legs felt like actual lead hanging from the bottom part of my body, but nonetheless, I was able to grab onto the drainpipe beside me and hold on for dear life.
I breathed in and out through my nose a few times before I started to shimmy down, my plaid skirt hiking up so far that it was likely touching my bra. My heart halted as I heard a voice skim through my ears and land right inside the deepest part of my chest.
Eric.
The only boy I’d ever truly cared about. And unfortunately, I’d ruined us before I even knew what we were.
My mind scrambled to put up a good front. My heart rushed to put up that thick and heavy shield for protection. Every last nerve ending in my body screamed to act accordingly so he couldn’t see how much I regretted becoming the person I was today. How much I regretted making him hate me.
Because let’s be honest here, if there was one person on this earth that I didn’t want hating me, it was him.
Eric’s voice was just as dark and moody as he was. “Need some help, Maddie?”
I hated when he called me that. And he freaking knew it.
“Like you’d ever actually help me,” I grunted out, preparing myself to jump down from the drainpipe before I landed in the rose bush below. I caught a brief glimpse of his dark hair as I glanced at the thorny bush underneath my dangling feet. The dark strands were pushed to the side in that lazy, I’m-sexy-as-fuck way that made girls sweat.
“You’re right. I wouldn’t help you even if it was the last thing left to do on this earth.” His feet shuffled along the grass as he walked closer to the side of my house. The task to focus on the rust-colored brick in front of my face instead of meeting his eye was a lot harder than I’d ever admit out loud. He dragged his words out as he finally made his way over to me. “But I think I’ll casually stand here and watch you fall. That sounds like a great way to start my day. So, please, carry on.”
Before I pushed off the side and jumped to the right, missing the rose bush all together, I gathered the courage to meet his stare. Everything about me repelled him. His lip was lifted but not with that sexy, mischievous, bad-boy grin he gave to other girls. No, this was a snarl. A hateful gleam was evident in his steely glare as he waited for me to fall. His navy school blazer was pulled firmly over his shoulders, his arms lazily hanging by his sides with one foot kicked up behind him, resting on the bones of my house.
I wished, for a single moment, I could have gone back in time and made different decisions. Would we have ended up like this? Would I have ended up like this?
Probably not, no.
But now it was too late. There was too much bad associated with me. I wouldn’t even know where to start if I ever decided to make amends.
My feet landed with a thud onto the soft ground, only a few feet away from him. No more than a second later, he pushed off the side of my house and started to walk away with his hands deep in his pockets. His locked jaw twitched at his temple as he shook his head.
“I guess you’ll have to find another way to brighten your day, Eric.” My voice came out strong, but on the inside, I was shaky and a little disappointed that he was walking away so soon.
He didn’t even stop walking when he spoke, and I followed after him like a desperate fangirl. “I’m sure there will be another exciting English Prep episode at some point today, where you’ll be the lead actress who has something terrible happen to her. I call it a feel-good show. It’s my favorite one, actually.” He finally paused and turned around to give me a smile that had my footsteps halting and my stomach dropping. It wasn’t a genuine smile, of course not, but his perfectly plump lips split in two, and there was a tiny flicker of light inside of me. I straightened my shoulders, preparing for something hurtful to come out of his mouth. “What was it last week?” His head tilted, that dark hair falling into his eyes. “Fish in your locker?”
Ah, yes. How could I forget the fish in my locker? The smell was putrid, and I had to act like it didn’t bother me at all. Otherwise, that’d put a crack in my I-don’t-give-a-fuck-that-everyone-hates-me facade.
I pushed away the inklings of hurt that were trickling in and angled my chin up so I looked poised and unbothered. “Was it you?”
“Hmm?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
A car drove down our quiet street, probably a neighbor on their way to work. Once I took my eyes off the black SUV, I met his cocky grin. “Was it you, Eric? Did you put the fish in my locker?” I crossed my arms, waiting patiently for his answer. “Is this all part of that lovely threat you gave me a few months ago?” I threw his words back at him. “It’s on now, Princess.”
Almost every single day, something happened to me. Fish in locker? Check. Slashed tire in the parking lot? Check. Chair breaking in the cafeteria, sending me to my ass within a second? Check. The list went on and on. And again, I had no one to blame but myself. I had more enemies than Hitler.
Eric stood, twirling his keys in his hand over and over again as he stared at me. Shifting on my feet was absolutely not going to happen, but I wanted to squirm in every single way. When his dark eyes dipped down my body and back up again, my throat sealed shut.
I hated that he hated me.
I hated that I cared that he hated me.
Finally, he broke the silence. “I guess you’ll never know. Maybe it was me. Maybe it wasn’t.” He shrugged nonchalantly, biting his lip in a
way that made my heart light on fire.