I ignored the emotions clouding my vision. “Why?”
His strong brows lifted as his stormy gaze met mine. “Why is it stupid?” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “Well, for starters—"
“No,” I interrupted him. “Why would you do that for me? Why would you sit in here all night while I slept, just to make sure I didn’t have a nightmare?”
I still couldn’t believe I had talked in my sleep the other night. Apparently, my subconscious dream-like psyche was betraying me too.
Eric’s nostrils flared as he pinned me to my spot. He instantly went from annoyed to angry. A small wrinkle formed in between his eyebrows, and his perfect lips that had savaged mine earlier were pulled taut. “Because I’m feeling fucking generous. Take it or leave it.”
My resolve fell, my armor shattering to the ground. I bit my tongue to keep from thanking him in a blubbering mess. I wasn’t going to thank him. I didn’t ask for his help, so I surely wasn’t going to pretend like he was doing me a favor.
But he was.
He had no idea how badly I wanted to weep.
The thought of sleeping, knowing someone—that, believe it or not, I actually trusted—was going to wake me before I reached that point in my dreams that had me rushing to the bathroom to vomit, was enough to make me break myself in half.
“How bad was it?” I whispered, lowering myself to lie down. I lay flat on my back with my arms resting over my belly. “My nightmare, I mean. What did I say?”
Eric waited a little while before he answered, which only made me more jittery. His tone was clipped and to the point. “It was bad. Now go to sleep.”
“Did I cry?” I asked, shutting my eyes, not because I was trying to sleep but because I was too nervous to watch his expression.
“Yes,” he answered matter-of-factly. “And that’s not all. Now go to sleep.” He paused. “And stop taking sleeping pills that aren’t prescribed by a fucking doctor.”
A bite was at the very tip of my tongue. A snapping remark was locked and loaded, ready to fire out of my mouth, but something held me back. Eric was giving me an olive branch, and I was holding on for dear life. I knew it’d break eventually, and he’d go back to being mean to me and glaring at me from across the cafeteria, but for now, I’d let myself hang on to it.
After a few minutes of tossing and turning, my body finally started to relax. I peeked at Eric a few times, lifting only one eyelid, until he’d snap his stoic attention in my direction. At first, I thought I’d feel uneasy with him in here, given everything, but deep down, I knew that Eric would never hurt me. He may have hated me, but I knew he wasn’t a bad guy. The twelve-year-old girl inside of me trusted Eric with her whole heart, and I was trusting her. But then again, could I trust anyone these days?
That was the last thought I had before I felt myself fall asleep.
The low chatter of my mom and dad startled me from a deep sleep. My eyes felt groggy, and my mouth was parched. I opened my lips, desperately needing water, but that was when I realized my mouth wouldn’t open. There was something over it.
Tape?
My hand went to reach up to move it, but my limbs wouldn’t work. My parents' voices grew louder, my dad’s familiar yells plowing through my bedroom walls. When did he get home? And why was he already angry? It usually took at least a few days for him to snap.
I tried wiggling my arms, my eyes adjusting to my dark room, but it was like I was in quicksand. My limbs were heavy.
Why couldn’t I move? Panic started to seep into every outlet of my body. Skin smacked against skin, and a loud whimper from my mom had me kicking my legs out from my blankets, but it was no use. They weren’t working either.
What is going on? Was this sleep paralysis or something?
Just then, my heart began to race as if it knew something was coming that I didn’t. A scream was lodged in my throat as I began to feel the looming presence of something dark and heavy on top of me. My eyes wouldn’t adjust. I might as well have been blind.
Why wasn’t my light on? I always kept my light on.
“Hold still, baby.”
The voice had me completely shook. I knew that voice. It haunted me. Replayed in my head whenever I’d let my guard down. I started to breathe heavier, tears gathering in my eyes.
I tried to scream and claw as the presence grew heavier. My father’s loud voice boomed in the background, and my mom screamed out. I needed to get to her, to help her, but the man on top of me was overpowering everything.
No. No. No.
A large hand cupped my thigh, ready to spread my legs, and I sobbed on the inside.
Not again.