All the Little Truths (English Prep 3)
Page 63
The parting of her mouth sounded out around us in the small space. You could hear every last breath the two of us took. “I painted you out to be the villain, Madeline.” I chuckled softly, my fingers clamping down on her thighs to garner her full attention. “You’re not a villain at all.”
She was quick to rebut. “Yes, I am. I have done a lot of bad shit over the years. I’m vindictive and selfish.”
“You’re the least selfish person I know. You gave up real friendships to protect your mom. How is that selfish?”
She sighed, her warm breath mingling with mine. “Doesn’t explain why I was a bitch to everyone.” She paused for a second before whispering to herself, like she was coming to the realization for the first time. “Maybe Hayley was right. Maybe I was a bitch because someone made me feel inferior. I acted that way, tormented people, made them fear me instead of love me, because I wanted to feel superior. I wanted that power to hurt them first.” Her light laugh was sarcastic. “I’m no better than my father.”
“No.” Now my fingers were digging into her skin. “That’s not true.”
How could I make her see herself the way that I did? She wasn’t selfish; she was afraid. She didn’t want anyone to come close to her because she was protecting herself and her mother without even realizing it.
Madeline pressed herself into me hard, and my dick basically convulsed underneath her warmth, but I was quick to ignore it. Her hands clenched onto my wrists as she lifted them off her legs. “Do I need to remind you of all the mean things I did? Do I need to remind you that I knew our parents were fucking for years? Do I need to remind you that everyone at school fucking hates me?”
I flung her hands off my wrists harshly and pressed her closer to me with a force that awakened somet
hing buried inside my chest. “Stop trying to make me hate you.” The words gritted through my teeth like sandpaper across my tongue. “Not now.”
“You need to hate me,” she gritted back, her hair surrounding us both, tickling the skin on my arms. Her breath was warm as it lingered in front of me like a juicy steak in front of a starving dog. My heart thumped; my blood pulsed all around me. My hands gripped her body like she was the only thing holding me to the ground.
“You want me to hate you? You want me to leave you in here all alone after everything you just told me?” I gripped her hips, and her breath caught. “That’s too fucking bad. I will not let you push me away again.”
Hot, heavy seconds passed between us. The closet was eerily silent except for our breathing as we both let the sentiment linger in the air. I finally heard her take an inhale of breath before she slowly started to move over me in a way that had me closing my eyes and holding back a groan. Madeline was a hot little grenade in my hands that was ready to combust. I could feel it. The electricity. The spark. The pull between us. The emotional downfall.
“You’re playing a dangerous game right now with all these mixed rules.” My hands went to her face, my fingers getting lost in the silky stands of her hair. “One second you’re pushing me away, and the next you’re pulling me in. What do you want, Madeline? Do you want me to hate you? Or is it the opposite?”
“Right now? I just want you.” She was breathless, barely getting the words out. Her chest pressed against mine, her tight nipples rubbing along my t-shirt. “This feels good, and I know it’s fucked up after everything we just heard between my parents, and after everything you know about me, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this. You can go back to hating me in the morning.”
I stifled a groan. Fuck me.
My dick was instantly hard as she ran her hands up my chest and around my head. I gripped her harder, pressing her pussy onto my dick. “Madeline…” I warned. We shouldn’t be doing this. Her firm little body shook in my hands. and I was quickly losing a hold on all the rationality in my head. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Madeline
This was so wrong on so many levels. Completely fucked up. I was grinding on Eric, moving my body in ways that I hadn't done in a very, very long time. and I couldn’t seem to find even a flicker of redemption inside my head.
My emotions were running rampant. Fear, anger, embarrassment, anger again, and now desperation. Being shut away with Eric in my very dark closet was like an illicit potion being forced down my throat. I was turned on, my body taking hold of every ounce of reality and making it vanish completely. I just wanted to feel good, and I was turning to sin to make that happen.
My mother just got man-handled by my father, and in the midst of that, I’d learned she’d been staying with him for me. Guilt was creeping around the corner, lurking like a predator in the shadows on a dark and gloomy night. But I was pushing it all away so I could just have one single second of bliss before everything came crumbling down.
Maybe this was my body’s way of protecting me from the pain I was about to feel.
Whatever.
I didn’t care.
All I could focus on was Eric’s rough fingers gripping my body like he was going to devour me.
“Have you been with anyone since...?” Eric’s mouth grazed over mine in a hesitant way, and I felt like I was dying a slow, painful death. My entire body was strung tight. I ached.
“Yes.”
He groaned, and his teeth sunk into my lip. My core flamed. “Who?” he asked as he let go. His hands were roaming my body, one finger skimming down my spine, making me shudder.
“None of your business.” I was panting as Eric’s nose rubbed along my cheek. He growled as his teeth scraped me. Oh my God. “I was desperate. I wanted to replace the bad with the good. So I used someone in haste. I’d hoped it would stop the nightmares.”