Three Summers

“Things are about to get interesting… ” Confusion fills Anna’s eyes and then I hear her voice.

“Sadie?” My

blood runs cold of the sound of my name out of Samantha’s mouth. I slowly turn around and am greeted with that sandy blonde hair pulled up into a high, teased ponytail. She’s wearing next to nothing and she looks a little rough around the edges.

I always thought Samantha was pretty but not exceptionally pretty. She was just normal, and I always felt that her friendly heart made her better than she was on the outside, until her friendly heart disappeared and was replaced by a back-stabbing, semi-crazy friend with a black soul.

“I’m really glad you’re here. I… ” She walks up to me and she’s only standing a few feet away. My face cringes at the smell of her strong perfume. That’s new. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

I have to hold back a laugh. “For?” Defensively, I cross my arms. Almost as if I’m shielding myself from her.

“For the thing with Rowen and me. We never met to hurt you. We just, kind of, happened.” My eyes almost bug out of my head and I hear Hannah chuckle beside me. Samantha has lost her ever-loving mind.

“Samantha, why are you lying?” I ask, wanting my voice to sound strong, but it comes out full of hurt. I reprimand myself, in my head. I don’t want anyone to know that what Samantha has done and apparently is still doing… hurts. It hurts my heart. My feelings are actually hurt. We were best friends, but I guess I didn’t know her like I thought I did.

Her face blushes a little as she speaks, “What do you mean?”

Rage. I feel rage, now. Just like that. “Oh, cut the shit, Samantha! Everyone knows that you and Rowen were never a thing.” Now Samantha’s face is as red as the solo cups surrounding us. I take a small peek around and every single person has stopped dancing, stopped talking, stopped doing everything but staring directly at this drama-filled “chat.”

“I… ” She is at a loss for words so I help her out a little.

“I don’t know why you would try to hurt me so bad. It was enough that I got brutally attacked and that my boyfriend just never reached out to me, ever again. Then my best friend decides to lie about being with my boyfriend?” My voice has completely risen to its highest pitch. My hands are shaking and clenched at my sides Thankfully, Hannah Marie grabs my clenched fist and draws me back from the ledge that I’m teetering over.

“I think you need to leave, Samantha.” My entire body buzzes at the sound of Rowen’s voice.

“I can take care of myself, Rowen.” I spit out the words and he looks away briefly, taking a deep breath.

“I’m—I,” she stutters, and I don’t give her a chance to respond.

“There is nothing you can say to redeem yourself, Samantha.” My eyes have started welling up a bit, and I instantly curse my body for wanting to cry.

She looks over at Rowen and he scowls at her. She suddenly looks away and I feel so flustered and caught in the middle. This is just one huge mess. It’s like I’m the tiny helpless fly stuck in a giant spider web full of lies about to get eaten.

I watch as Samantha backs away and turns slowly when she reaches the back door. I lose sight of her lanky body as she makes her way through the crowd. I’m broken out of my trance when I hear Kyle yell, “HOT DAMN! Welcome back, Sadie!” I quickly look over at him and can’t help but laugh. He’s wearing nothing but some tiny board shorts and he has an American flag bandana wrapped around his head like a headband. His shaggy brown hair is hanging over the sides in all sorts of different directions. He’s pointing the grilling spatula at me. I laugh even harder, and I look over at Hannah and Anna and they’re laughing, too.

“It’s good to be back.” I chuckle, and Hannah Marie and Anna drag me to get a red cup filled with beer. In this moment, I feel more alive than I have since the attack. I scan the crowd and see if I can find Rowen, but I can’t. He and Samantha are both gone, and maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Ten

The next few weeks of summer fly by. I’ve been hanging out with Hannah and Anna on my days off, in between spending quality time with my family. My days are filled with laughter and sometimes, I forget about all the bad that happened in the last year. I absentmindedly regret not coming home sooner than the summer. Maybe I would have healed faster if I had just faced the stormy waters. Maybe I would have been happier.

Rowen has kept his distance during work but after every shift, he waits for me by his truck. He walks me to my car, which sometimes includes painfully awkward small talk and sometimes we’re just silent. I feel the tension racing between the two of us during work, especially on the nights that the sky has darkened and the air is still. There’s so much to say but neither of us want to say anything. I’m not sure it would change anything, and I’m not sure it would help the situation. I’m at a good place, even if being near him makes my heart dance around in my chest.

The one thing I promised myself that I’d do before going back to school in a couple weeks was visit my dear old friend, James. James was one of the few people who came to see me in the hospital. My parents felt that they owed him a big tribute for racing to my side seconds after I was beaten. He kept me calm, and he made me feel safe. He made me feel safe when the entire world was crashing around me. I had focused on his old, wrinkled, soft face until I was met with an abyss of darkness. When he came to visit me in the hospital, his gaze didn’t linger on my stitches; he didn’t glance at all the blackened bruises; he just simply sat beside my bed and talked about the weather. Basically, anything to avoid what had just happened and I was thankful for it. I’m still like that, which is why it’s taken me so long to visit him. But he was a big part of my emotional recovery, and I’d never thanked him. So here I am, driving my little Ford on the narrow blacktop roads smushed between farmland.

When I reach his mailbox at the end of the grassy, makeshift driveway, I laugh. It’s a fish. His mailbox is a fish. So strange for someone who doesn’t even fish. He farms, and then the rest of his time is spent at Finger Lickin’ Chicken. He doesn’t even have a lady-friend, which I’ve always found a little sad. Maybe he isn’t into the ladies?

My car’s tires pad over the grassy land as I drive the long narrow strip to his house. It’s a tiny house. Its color is a bit bland, a mustard-y looking tan hue. The shutters and door are a deep chestnut and the only lively part about his house is the white rocking chairs on the old wooden porch. When I park my car, I peek over at the sky and see the sun slowly creeping its way down behind the treeline, and that’s when I see him.

James is a bigger man, so I can spot him easily through the rows of the dark green sprouting vegetables. When I step out of the car and wave him down, I can see his huge glistening white smile reflect abstractly on his dark face. He picks up his pace and I instantly grin at his old worn blue-jean overalls and straw hat.

“Well, if it isn’t my Sadie!” he says, as he envelopes me in a huge hug. I don’t even mind the fact that he has sweat dripping down his face and that he is completely dirty from head to toe. His hug is comforting, like hugging a sweet black bear.

“I’ve missed you, James,” I say with my face nuzzled in his chest. “How are you?”

He pulls me back and rests his hands on my shoulders. “How am I? How are you? You look as sweet as ever.” I smile at him and follow him to the front porch.

“I hope it’s okay that I stopped by. I go back to school soon and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t come see you.”