the house. Especially, to go meet up with Rowen. But regardless, I am an adult and I don’t need their permission to date Rowen.
The second I step out my car and am greeted with the stark whiteness of the country club building, the faint smell of chlorine fills my nose and I am at ease. This will be my third year working here and each year it feels a little more like home. With Sash’s aviators and his mumbling about the bratty kids, Morgan’s and my swims during break, and Hallie’s sneaking of snacks out of the concessions, it all feels familiar and it sets the butterflies swarming in my stomach at ease.
I slowly walk up to the iron gate and swing it open, feeling my heart thump in my chest. I look around for Rowen and I don’t see him. I could have sworn I saw his truck parked in the parking lot, but maybe I made that part up. What if he doesn’t come back? Maybe he thought we shouldn’t be together… what will I do? I can literally already feel my heart cracking vehemently, which scares me right out of my red bathing suit. We aren’t even a thing yet and I’m already afraid he’s going to destroy me again.
Just as I’m rounding the corner, I see Sash’s tall, lengthy body standing with his back to me, talking to someone. I quickly peer my head around his frame, and then I see him. As soon as I spot the chocolatey brown hair flipping out from behind his hat, the butterflies pick up their pace. I smile as his eyes form into saucers. In the middle of Sash’s sentence, Rowen steps away from him; I can hear Sash’s colorful curses but all I’m focused on is Rowen. It’s amazing what one year can do to someone. He looks mostly the same, except his muscles have more tone to them. A perfect V-shaped torso leading down to his red swim trunks. I can only hope that I look different, too; I feel different. Everything feels different. I’m more aware of things than last year… like the way my stomach is already clenching in anticipation that I just might have Rowen’s lips on mine.
When he rounds Sash’s body, he’s standing spitting distance away from me. He raises his dark eyebrows as if he’s asking me to confirm that I’m actually here. I slowly shrug my shoulders and give him a tiny grin, trying to hide my giddiness. He breaks out into a heart-stopping smile, flashing those perfectly white teeth, and comes even closer to me, telling Sash to shut up.
“Is this what I think it means?” he asks, crossing his arms over his exposed chest.
I don’t answer right away; I kind of like seeing him squirm (insert evil laugh here). “I guess… ” And my lips tip upward.
“We’ve got a date tomorrow night, after work. And tell your parents you’re busy for your birthday.” My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion but on the inside, I’m doing actual cartwheels.
“You already have stuff planned?” I quip.
“Yes.” His darkened eyes meet mine.
I brush my long brown hair behind my shoulder and cross my arms. “Someone was a little cocky that I’d return this summer… ”
Rowen only winks at me, giving me that grin. The one that if I were wearing panties, they’d totally be on the concrete floor in between my legs. He walks backwards to take his stand at his lifeguarding station and I do the same. Avoiding how Sash’s aviators are now perched on his nose, eyeing me from above, and Morgan’s long blonde hair, gripped in her fist—her eyes wide and mouth open. I smirk to myself and get to work.
Twenty
I’ve been imagining my date with Rowen since the second he told me. It’s all I think about. I finally broke down and told my mom, and only my mom. I very bluntly said, “Rowen and I are starting up again,” and waited for a knee-jerk reaction but she simply acted nonchalant about it. She isn’t fooling me, though; I can see right through her armor. She’s happy, but scared, too; a mirror of my own feelings. I’m excited, exhilarated, happy, and all of the above, but there’s that little devil on my shoulder crossing her arms, staring daggers into the side of my ear. The angel on the other shoulder, she’s basically flying from elatedness.
When I pull up to work, I’m confused when I don’t see Rowen’s truck parked out front. I guess he might not be working today, but I thought he was. When I glance down at my phone, avoiding a near run-in with the fence, I see a text from him.
Rowen: Can’t wait for tonight.
I’m swooning. I’m swooning over a simple text. I feel like I’m back in high school. I quickly text him back, to ease my curiosity.
Me: Where are you? Are you not working today?
He texts me back within seconds.
Rowen: No, I’m only part-time at the club. I’m working with the football program at the high school for college credit.
I nod my head, although he can’t see me. Rowen has always been all about sports. When he first moved to this small town his junior year he was completely bummed that our school didn’t have a hockey program. I didn’t know him my junior year, but he later confided in me that he was angry for the entire year he was here because of it. He didn’t want to move, not one bit, but his parents needed to relocate to help out with his grandpa’s illness. Once things between us started to grow, Rowen started to come out of his shell a little, getting more into the sports that our school did offer. But anyway, last I heard, he was going to UNC for physical education or something along those lines. I guess I never really found out what he was in school for after his sudden disappearance three years ago. I didn’t really care to know, but, now I want to know. I want to know everything there is to Rowen; I want to relearn his dreams, ambitions, goals. I want to relearn what makes him happy, I want to re-learn everything about him. I want my heart to soar again.
When Rowen’s truck pulls up after work, my heart does three backflips, two frontflips, and a roundabout on the bars; that’s how anxious I am. The second he opens his door and climbs out, I take a whiff of his scent. I could bathe in it. I want to bottle it up and douse my pillow in it.
Rowen looks particularly striking with his plain black shirt that fits snugly around his arms but more loosely around his waist. His shorts come just to the knee and he even took the notion of not wearing his backwards hat, letting those brown waves shine. My mouth goes dry at the sight of him. I am in such a daze that I don’t even realize he is standing a few feet away from me.
I feel like a complete idiot. My hair is wet and smelling of chlorine since I took a few dives with Morgan on our last break. I’d thrown on a little sundress, but my skin feels dry, regardless of the coconut lotion I’d rubbed on my leg.
“Hi,” I whisper, gazing upward to meet his over six-foot height.
“Hey, are you ready?” He asks, with a small smile playing at his full lips.
“Yeah, I guess. I feel like an idiot. You look all… perfect and here I am with wet hair, smelling like a pool.” I laugh nervously.
“You… ” He grabs my hand and I trail after him as he pulls me to the passenger side of his truck, “You look perfect, Sadie.” I smile a little as he opens the door up for me and I climb inside, feeling the vinyl seat on my bare legs. I run my right hand over its sticky smooth feeling and hum inside. So many memories, so many memories just from feeling a truck’s seat.
The conversation is short lived once Rowen gets in the car and starts to drive to wherever we’re going. We’re both nervous, and you can tell by the feeling in the air. I bet if he turned the roaring engine off, Mrs. Betty who announces that she’s deaf in one ear anytime anyone passes by her front stoop could hear both of our hearts beating erratically. I honestly think I’m more nervous about this date with him than I was on our actual first date.
To break the little neurons floating around our bodies, I ask where we’re going.