Three Summers

My heart grows about ten times its size and I can’t take it any longer. I slip out from in between the girls and I push and shove my way towards my man. I keep walking past him, giving him a wink (a definite effect of being inebriated) and step outside the side door.

The sun has completely set now, the moon barely peeking out from behind a dark grey cloud. Seconds later, I hear the door swing open with its creaky hinges and Rowen is walking out. The music and chattering pours through the open door and then it’s slammed shut again, leaving only Rowen and I in the dark alley. He has lost the pink feather boa and his hair looks effortlessly tousled. He looks down at me, shadows covering his dark eyes, and cocks an eyebrow. I grab his hand and pull him close to me, smacking my lips onto his. I taste the hint of a dark beer on his tongue and listen to him growl under my touch. Our hands are everywhere. His on my lower back, reaching around to cup my head. Mine on his biceps, squeezing and scratching for more. I need more. He’s like a drug that I’ll never stop needing. He quickly spins us around and backs me up against the side of the bar. I can feel the warm brick along my exposed shoulder blades and Rowen lifts my hands so they?

?re pinned above my head. He dips down and kisses my neck.

“Jesus, Sadie. I can’t—“ he kisses me along my collar bone and I realize that I’m gasping like a wild animal but I don’t care. I want more.

His lips hit mine again and they’re just as eager as before. Nipping my lips with his teeth, I let out a breathy moan. I hurriedly buck my hips up to his and I can feel his hardness from outside his jeans. Excited, I give his lip a little bite which just seems to make things that much hotter. This is probably the most amazing sexual experience I have ever had. It’s rushed, and raw; no time for second guessing, no time to slow down. He puts me into a completely different state of ecstasy. It’s as if all our past is catching up to us, emotion after emotion pouring from our very veins. It’s fierce, and breathtaking.

I breathe his name, “Rowen.” He hums against my ear as he rubs himself against me. This is different. What we have now, it’s different; it’s down-right emotional and sexy.

He growls and I feel it rumble against my chest. He backs up fast and his face is flushed. I pout when he steps away and he shakes his head at me.

“We have to stop.”

I whine and I’m surprised at how bratty I’m being. “Why?”

“Because you’re drunk,” he says, as a matter-of-fact.

“No, I’m not!” And he laughs and then I laugh because I slurred my words. Even my drunken ears can realize that.

“Come here,” I say and he willingly does. I press my lips against his again and he laughs against them.

“Sadie. Stop tempting me… ” he kisses me hard again and then takes a step back and pauses. When he leans in again, it’s only to give me a quick peck on the lips. Then he grabs my hand, breaking the tethered rope we just had tying us together. “Just imagine how fucking good it’ll be when we’re both sober.” I pause. I think. And then I break out into a devious smile, following him back into the bar.

Twenty-Two

It’s been two weeks since Rowen and I have started up again and I can’t say that my mind and heart are on talking terms. It’s like my heart is lapping up the feeling Rowen gives me just as a dog laps up water after a hot day in the sun. Then my mind, she’s cowering in the back of the classroom like a student who doesn’t want to be picked by the teacher. The rational part of my mind is scared to death that Rowen is going to leave me again, because I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick myself up. This time with us is so unlike the last time. It’s much more powerful than our little high school love.

We’ve had several more dates together. Nothing as elaborate as the first date, per se but each one still makes my heart flutter. Sometimes we just talk after work, hanging out on the bed of his truck in the parking lot of the club, stealing simple touches and hot and heavy make-out sessions, and a few times we probably could have gotten charged with indecent exposure crimes. But we still haven’t had sex, which is a huge step to take. I want to speed things up but at the same time, the more I get intimate with him, the more I fall for him—so here I am, teetering over the edge of the Grand Canyon. Trying to grab onto the rusty copper boulders like they’re a lifeline.

The entire town knows about us now. It was only a matter of time before the old ladies that cluster together at Joe’s coffee patio every morning knew. They’re the pot-stirrers of this town: gossiping about the latest fling between couples, who stole the town flag, that kind of stuff. Crazy old bats, if you ask me. They started on us the second we took the final step and went out in public, holding hands. Yes, holding hands—big whoop, huh? Well, according to Mrs. Silinsky it was a big freaking deal. Even my parents mentioned it.

“I see you and Rowen are taking the next step… ” my dad had grumbled under his coffee. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Oh, stop it hun. They’re in their twenties, they’re adults. Let them make their own decisions.” My mom winked at me from a distance and I mouthed a simple “thank you.”

Of course, Rowen’s parents are fine with the pair of us starting up again. His parents always liked me, and hey, I didn’t go around stomping all over Rowen’s heart. We still don’t feel the need to hang out at one of our houses. I told him it made me feel like I was in high school again, and he agreed. Although, I know he’s just happy with not having to see my dad.

“Hey, Sadie. I’m gonna go. Can you lock up after the Kerry’s leave?” I bluntly roll my eyes at the Kerry’s sloowwwy packing up their gear. They are, by far, the slowest freaking people on the planet. I half think they do it on purpose. They like seeing “the help” have to wait around for them. Mrs. Kerry comes to the pool every single day, and every single day, she is decked out in some different, sparkly diamond necklace, an enormous black sunhat and a skimpy one-piece bathing suit. (You know, the kind that forms a V in between her breasts to her belly button). She waves her children off and goes on to reading her magazine, all while sipping leisurely on a margarita. She’s high-class, that’s for sure.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll lock up.” I don’t bother telling Sash I’m using the showers to get ready again. I don’t think we’re really supposed to use these showers to actually shower with shampoo and all that good-smelling stuff. They’re built to wash off the chlorine and that’s it, but I can’t very well go into the clubhouse and use those showers. I’m not a member, remember?

When the Kerry’s finally get their things and leave, I go over and clean up the rest of their mess. Dispose of the sticky ice cream wrappers, take the empty margarita glass to the concessions area, and wipe down their table. Then I hear a voice.

“I like that angle,” Rowen quips, raising an eyebrow, and I give him a death stare. Except really, I’m blooming on the inside. Maybe these bathing suits aren’t so bad after all.

“Are you ready?” he says, as he walks up from behind me, taking the rag and finishing cleaning the table.

“No, not even close. I need to shower. Will you keep watch?” He leans around me, wrapping his bare hands on my wet suit. The butterflies flutter all over my skin. No matter how many times he leans in to kiss me, I still get all flushed and nervous.

“Of course.” He pecks me on the cheek and follows me to the shower, leaning against the outside entrance as I grab my things. I walk barefoot on the white and blue tile floor; it’s a pretty extravagant locker room with its crystal white tiled walls and light blue accents, especially considering it’s only for washing the pool grime off your body.

I almost feel a little scandalous shimmying out my bathing suit while Rowen is a simple ten feet from me, propped up against the door. He’s there and here I am, naked and basically wanting to invite him in to join me. I shake my head and tell myself it’s too soon, even though my hormones are saying something different. I step into the scalding hot shower and take a deep breath, letting the water cascade down my body, relieving my pent-up nerves. Once I go to reach for my shampoo, I mouth, “Shit.” I forgot it in my bag and I definitely need it or else this shower will be pointless. My hair will still smell like chlorine, and I don’t want to smell like chlorine. I want to look and smell as good as Rowen does, all washed and devour-able.

“Rowen?” I yell out, while peeking my head away from the water running into my mouth.

“Yeah? You okay?” he yells back.